How are you feeling today?

[Bexwa]

Angry! so very very angry! I cant stop shaking with anger, and about what you may ask? Nothing. I don't know what is making me so angry but the only thing that has seemed to calm me down in the glass of red wine I've just had. I just want it to be over.

[Lol]

Angry! so very very angry! I cant stop shaking with anger, and about what you may ask? Nothing. I don't know what is making me so angry but the only thing that has seemed to calm me down in the glass of red wine I've just had. I just want it to be over.

I'm sorry Bexwa this is an awful way for you to be feeling. Are you having any particular thoughts whilst being so angry? Are you sure it is anger and not anxiety? Have you ever had a panic attack is it one of those? Please don't drink too much wine while you're feeling like this. If you would like to talk about how you ae feeling please go ahead.

[cornish]

i gotta agree with lol, about it could be a panic attack.  also the wine, try relaxation techniques, i was skeptical of these until my psychologist MADE me do one, wow what a huge help.

thats a very basic version of what i do but i started with basically that one
http://ibs.about.com/od/treatmentofibs/ht/visualiz.htm


i feel like im at rock bottom now, im really not in the mood to talk to anyone,ive been very blunt with everyone who's tried to speak to me today. i dont want to do anything other than think the worst and self harm, for the first time in ages ive been eating, ate way too many seeds  and now feel really ill and have a lot of pain in my chest, just feel like i need to be empty, body and mind. feeling tired, not sleepy but tired of this, all of this living hell.

this is not related to the comment below,knowing he might be gone soon and being "karma" makes me feel better.


 had a bit of a long term problem with some one at work, he's a lazy git and is basically out to get me and no im not being paranoid, he had another go at me today after i sort of showed him up again for not doing anything all day, sort of have the feeling that he's not going to be with the company much longer....   yay i mean ummmm oh no.    but he bloody deserves to get the sack.    ive been in cornish the karma instigator mode again, i know im in a bit of a delusional state but bad people deserver bad things.

[Lol]

Cornish it is awful that you feel at rock bottom. I'm sorry you feel so desperate, you don't deserve to feel this way. It's ok not to want to talk to anybody. You don't have to. It's ok to have been blunt with people today. Everyone unsderstands. You mustn't feel any remorse.

You feel like you are living in hell and that is a very difficult state of mind. You are desperate and wanting it all to stop. You are going through a living hell and you can't take any more of this. You are trapped and it's hard to carry on.

I am very glad that the horrid lazy person may be soon to leave the company. It will be easier at work when he is not there. He deserves to have appropriate consequences when he is betraying the trust of you, those who work with him and the company. It will be bad for him to realise he has to leave. He should have behaved better.

Thank you for the link for Bexwa. You are so important in here. And so inspirational. I hope you feel better soon. You deserve to feel better soon. You are fighting so hard.  :)

[cornish]

 :)

[Alstare1974]

I feel  "£"

[Got]

You ok mate? Talk if you want.

[Alstare1974]

Same old same old really to be honest. Feeling lonely.

[smirfy21]

feeling crazy, acting crazy and probably looking rather crazy.

but on the up side I had my first new Doctors appointment this morning so I am on the right track but my medication is having absolutally no affect what so ever anymore and I have to be seen by the local mental health team psychiatrist before my GP will consider altering them which could take up to a month so in the mean time I am supposed to go insane, use the uni councellors and if things get really bad check into A&E.

smirfy !"!

[Alstare1974]

Sounds like a difficult time smirfy. Waiting for any appointments can be very frustrating.

[Got]

Yep waiting here also.

Alstare, I feel lonely alot also. This may  not help you, because of all the bad things you have been through, and the rawness of it all, a bit of philosophy maynot help you. But what I have started t do (it sounds very odd) is try to cultivate in my mind, a feeling of compassion towards every person I meet. I try to say nice things and be warm, and in repsonse people are warm back to me. I try to do this to everyone, and it actually helps me feel less lonely. Because we are surrounded by many people, even when we dont feel like it.

I know you might not be able to practise this at the moment, but it is something I intend to keep on doing, as I have been depressed for a few years at least, often without any obvious cause, and things like this may help.

[Alstare1974]

Ok, so tomorrow is remembrance day and I will be thinking of my fallen friends. My best friend and 5 guys I knew quite well in a helo crash. My mate who lost a leg and bled out internally over a three week period and all I could do is watch him go down hill. My other colleagues who I've known in helo crashes.

It's strange but this year I just feel numb about the whole thing. I guess it's because I have so much other stuff going on in my life to be sad about. This other stuff is between 2 and 9 years old.

[smirfy21]

thanks guys its not an easy time but its just a glitch.

the worst part has been explaining to my lecturers that Im not infact drunk or high, My pupils are dilated, and Im bouncing round like a loon and answering every friggin question I can eventhough I don't know the answer because I infact am experiancing a hypomanic episode from the Mental health condition that yes I do have (oops did I just say MENTAL HEALTH Better stand back guys I might go all CRAZY)

sorry rant over
smirfy !"!

[nickynoo]

I'm feeling a bit blah tonight, just one of those nights I suppose, can't put my finger on why either . Wondering 'why me' too, selfish I know as I know there are people out there much worse off than me. I suppose I'm still struggling to come to terms with this illness and the fact that I have just wasted a year of my life feeling like crap with all these horrible symptoms of depression (mainly feeling dizzy, constantly knackered and not having the want to go out and do things that I used to enjoy). Its really strange as I have so much going for me too, so why do I feel so bad and unlucky in life. Beats me 

ooh and while I remember .....the spiritualist church is somewhere I go for inspiration and insight, its basically a church where medium come and link with loved ones that have passed over to spirit. I like the thought that the people that I have loved and lost are still around me, working with me and guiding me thru the hard times. Last night was the 1st time anyone had come thru for me and it made me feel relief that I am not going thru this alone. I know spiritualism isnt for everyone and I am not religious in any way, I just find that this is a way to help me feel like I can cope better with things, even when I dont have someone come thru for me I still get inspired and motivated by other peoples readings. Nothing scary about the dead, its the living I am scared of 

[Got]

Ok, so tomorrow is remembrance day and I will be thinking of my fallen friends. My best friend and 5 guys I knew quite well in a helo crash. My mate who lost a leg and bled out internally over a three week period and all I could do is watch him go down hill. My other colleagues who I've known in helo crashes.

It's strange but this year I just feel numb about the whole thing. I guess it's because I have so much other stuff going on in my life to be sad about. This other stuff is between 2 and 9 years old.

Yes mate....you clearly have a lot going on. I know you are feeling very low right now, but considering all that you have been through, you have displayed alot of strength really. I hope you feel ok tommorow.