How are you feeling today?

[Alstare1974]

Smirfy

Extenuating circumstances seems like a very good idea to me.

[smirfy21]

yeah it sounds like a good idea and in theory it is but I am a bit concerned that Im going to look like I am getting special treatment and I have already had a couple of sly comments from other people in my group, I don't even know how they found out or if they just think something is going on.

to be honest as long as it means I finish my degree and with good grades then I really don't care what anyone thinks

How you doing Alstare
smirfy

[Got]

I agree that you should apply for extra time. You should be applicable. There is no shame on it, and those people who may think badly of you, lack insight.

[Alstare1974]

As you said smirfy who cares what anyone thinks and it's not special treatment.

As for me, I'm feeling pretty rough to be honest.

[Got]

You alright Alstare?

[Munchroom]

Lol, I'm so sorry you are feeling so rotten   I agree with Zaf in that I find it very hard to believe that you were in any way abusing her, you were trying to understand and trying to offer help, support and encouragement - thats all anyone can do!! She chose to end the relationship because she is ill and needs to focus on herself because of the feelings of guilt and self-loathing that depression brings - she could even be trying to justify the decision she made.
I know all to well how hard it is to put questions and 'what if's' and all those types of thought out of your mind, it almost like we are giving ourselves the punishment we 'deserve' by constantly thinking about it and going over and over the same thing! It does become sort of habitual... but you need to get out of the cycle. Give yourself certain times of the day where you 'allow' yourself to think about it, go over things, cry, scream, vent - but then once that time is up, do something completley different, watch a film, go for a walk, eat your own body weight in pizza and make your cat incredibly envious and let him look at you in awe as you drink all of his beer! Anything... but gradually, the times you allow yourself will become less. Its a lot easier said than done I know and it will never be as black and white as that - but it may help  &*(

Smirfy - you did really well to make yourself go to that dance tonight - well done!! I do agree that applying for extenuating circumstances is a good idea, it doesn't mean you'll use it on every assignment, but it will take the pressure off a bit.

Alstare - you did a very hard thing today and now it is done and out of the way! Please give yourself time to recover from that as I am sure it must have taken it out of you even more. As Zaf says you are not a bad person, it is the depression making you feel this way - and also a lot of extenuating circumstances for yourself!! This is a phase in your life though (albeit an incredibly crappy one) but all of this will pass and you will come out the other side!



Thankyou for your replies yesterday - I definitely overdid it. Still not feeling fantastic and am very very anxious about work   I'm trying to juggle getting the house straight and sleeping.... quite a lot! Trying not to slip back into old habits with food, but its very very hard, I've already found myself denying myself things and feeling proud for it  

Thinking of you all xxxxx

[Alstare1974]

Thanks munch

Steve, no don't think I'm really ok to be honest but hey ho.

[Got]

If you need to talk I can do

[Zaf]

Hope all goes well with your counsellor tomorrow smirfy, thinking of you &*( 

Hope everyone feels a bit better today :)



Woke up around half three, IBS making me feel yukky but I'm oddly peaceful again, hope it lasts :)

[Zaf]

Started off fairly well but aggravation at work is making me irritible and I'm struggling not to go downhill atm.  I hate incompetence and so far this morning everything Ive touched has been made more difficult by other people not doing their jobs properly 

[Got]

I used to be very hard on people who were incompetent. I'm also a firm beleiver in that if you want something doing properly then you need to do it yourself, which isnt always possible, so its easy to get mad at people.

I just accept now that people have different priorities, different things on their minds, and have different levels of competency in their jobs. There is nothing I can ever do to change this, and so I try not to let it get me down...although recently this has been very difficult for me to put into practice due to circumstances I wish to bore no one with.

Hope you manage to feel better soon...

[Zaf]

I used to be very hard on people who were incompetent. I'm also a firm beleiver in that if you want something doing properly then you need to do it yourself, which isnt always possible, so its easy to get mad at people.

I just accept now that people have different priorities, different things on their minds, and have different levels of competency in their jobs. There is nothing I can ever do to change this, and so I try not to let it get me down...although recently this has been very difficult for me to put into practice due to circumstances I wish to bore no one with.

Hope you manage to feel better soon...

unfortunately part of the reason I got depressed this last time and had my mini breakdown was because I was trying to do too much myself because you are so right that if you do it yourself you either do it right or only have yourself to blame.

Since I had my recent counselling Ive been able not to get too angry as it was counter productive and made me feel worse so I endeavour to stay calm and put my point over without blowing my top.  I did tell the insurance company who has been messing us around with a motor claim from January 2010 (calmly) that I thought they were totally incompetent and would tell my brokers what I thought about them (while at the same time telling the person who was trying to pick up the pieces of three other idiots who had been 'working' on the case that I did realise it wasnt her fault!). 

The big change Ive made, which hopefully will help keep my stress levels down, is not to keep worrying about non-payments of debts and I send them straight to a very good solicitor who adds a late payment penalty and interest onto anything she deals with which usually covers her fees with a bit to spare.

Its a lovely sunny day so I'm about to nip off for some lunch and sit in the sunshine for a bit :)

Hope you are OK this morning?

[Munchroom]

I know myself I am a massive pefectionist when it comes to doing things 'properly'  The danger, like you say Zaf, is then taking everything on board yourself and getting completley bogged down by it all....


Hmmmm... well, night sweats are back, with a vengence 

[Got]

Same here....perfectionsim led heavily to my downfall. Having OCD, i tend to be perfectionistic. I am having a good day so far, finding it hard to motivate myself to work....but it will be ok.

Zaf, enjoy your afternoon

Munchroom...is it the medication that cuases night sweats?  

[Munchroom]

Seems like perfectionism is quite a common theme....


I thought the venlafaxine was causing the night sweats, but now my dose on that is very low and the trazadone dose is increasing... so, I'm not sure.