Sorry I've been a bit quiet the last few days lovelies - am in the middle of a few really busy days (why does everything all come at once?!

) Am looking forward to Thursday when I can come home from my night shift and go to bed and not have to wake up alllllllllllllllllllllll day!!!
I had my appointment with the community mental health team yesterday (they didn't cancel this time!) And I spent over an hour talking with a woman about my medication. She agreed that Venlafaxine is a bad tablet for me and that the withdrawal symptoms are just awful. She re-assured me that what I was feeling last week was 'normal' but insisted that I have to come of it at a speed that suits me - if it means alternate days for the foreseeable future, so be it! But I do need to be OFF it before I can expect to see any improvements. The Trazadone she wants upping gradually to its maximum dose of 300mg (I'm currently on half that...) she said they could go higher, but I would have to be admitted. If that doesn't work then she suggested a few other AD's that could be taken alongside it and one that only they can prescribe which is an anti-psychotic...

I did keep hearing the phrase 'treatment resistant depression' knocking around my head, but I haven't researched into that and I hope to god that doesn't become the case!! She identified my main problems as sleep, anxiety, 'low mood' (I know Pete, it seems like a joke doesn't it??) and she was quite concerned about my fear of putting on weight... Still - all of this is going to be referred back to my GP, so... at least its progress, I guess!
Pete - its so good to hear from you again and I sense a bit more positivity in your posts this week :) When it comes to putting on a front, I think depression makes brilliant actors out of all of us!

I also pinch... usually when I'm anxious, it helps take my mind off of the situation in hand. As Cornish says, it is a mild form of self-harm, if it helps... then in all honesty I wouldn't be too concerned but
please limit yourself to just that! And do mention it to your doctor, taking out a printout of some of your posts on here is not a bad idea
at all. I find my mind goes blank as soon as I get into my doctors surgery and I find myself focusing more on the lunch he has on his desk for later and how it always looks so healthy (usually tinned fish and rice) and is it healthy because he's a doctor or is his wife trying to get him to eat healthier? Has he even got a wife? Whats she like? Do they have children? My mind just goes off on a tangent....

And of course, 10 minutes is nowhere near enough time to explain all the conflicting thoughts and worries and questions in your mind! I'd say take the print out - and be as honest as you possibly can - these professionals need to know what they are dealing with if they stand any hope of getting us better!
Alstare - I'm so sorry your first couple of days back at work have been so rotten

I do agree with Lol though.... please don't quit. You have done the first day!! I know the thought of all the other days and the getting up each morning must feel like you are about to climb Everest, but the first day back is always the biggest hurdle and you have done it! what does your doctor think about you starting back at work, and your parents?
Cornish - You bit your knuckle OFF?! Do you have rat teeth???

Pm me if you need to...
Lol - how are you? You have given some wonderful advice over the last few days but have shared very little about how you are doing, I hope you are ok? Have you had a Relate meeting this week?
Zaf - A good nights sleep!! I am a very unflattering shade of green you lucky thing!!!

I'm so pleased that things seem to be on the up - you don't need me to tell you this, but please try and not do too much (easier said than done - I know!!) You truly are an inspiration to us all when it comes to managing this and riding out the bad times :)
Smirfy - Its lovely to hear from you and from your post it seems like you have a handle on things :)
xxxxxx