How are you feeling today?

[Pete]

all the best lol. thanks.

[Angelina]

Well it's been a busy day, I'm exhausted! Today I handed in my notice at work, applied for another job, went to my mum's house and saw her for the first time in over 5 months and told her about work. She didn't really answer but I was expecting that. Tomorrow I'm visiting a horse, and officially moving to Dorset.

So I'm feel very scared and mentally drained. I refuse to get my hopes up about the job as my absence record is obviously terrible. But the job sounds perfect and I know I will be devastated if I don't get it. Plus quitting work and moving here makes me wonder if I'm making a huge mistake. Nothing ventured nothing gained though! Even this post is like the jumbled mess my brain is right now.

[danbob]

just go for it!!!

you know will make you happy and try your best to do that!! :)

my main aim is to end up living in cumbria or cornwall but i havent took the plunge yet

good luck!!! 

[Munchroom]

Well done Angelina  :) You have made some really huge and positive steps in the right direction, no wonder you feel mentally drained and apprehensive about it all!!

For what its worth - I think you have made the right decision in moving to Dorset. Please try not to push yourself too hard though, I really hope you get the job - but if you don't, don't blame yourself!!

[Angelina]

To add to the anxiety the horse owner just emailed to confirm me coming tomorrow, and mentioned the fact we're going on a hack with other people on the yard. Lots of new people, argh! I don't like doing things in front of people, so I'm going to be a mess tacking up.

Physically shaking like a sleeping puppy.

It's happening tomorrow morning so after that and my phone calls to the council I'm curling up on the sofa with my laptop and refusing to move.

[Lol]

Angelina you have made a few very big decisions all in one go there. That is very brave but I'm sure quite worrying for you. It would be against the odds for them all to work out like a fairy tale so don't forget you might experience a degree of negativity somewhere along the line! I admire you a lot. You have made these decisions because you believe in them so you have started on a good footing.

Good luck tomorrow morning. I hope you enjoy it.

[Angelina]

Yeah I was talking earlier to my boyfriend about it all being a little too perfect if everything works out. So I'm just glad I'm now able to at least try. Even this time last week I couldn't imagine doing all these things to change my life. I getting a couple of gerbils soon so I know at least one thing will be good, plus they'll be great company when I'm home alone. I'll have something to talk to  :)

[cornish]

Good luck with tomorow, I'm sure youll do everything proper and it will go fine, will be thinking of you




Today's been just as hard as the weekend,  not really looking foward to tomorow as it's an emergency jab at a horrible factory, so the pressure will be on, nothing I would normally be phased by but I have the labourer again, just hope he does what he's told to do this time, if not I'm sending him back to the workshop and letting the boss deal with him. I don't need any extra crap at the moment

[Angelina]

I hope he's ok tomorrow and does what he's supposed to, you don't need him being idiot right now

[Lol]

That's right Cornish I think you've got a plan there. Good luck tomorrow. Sounds stressful.

[danbob]

not even one bit tired.... lovely.... best put the kettle on eh, withdrawal isnt fun sometimes  *()

[Zaf]

The insomnia and exhaustion are beginning to get to me, woke at 3am after a very real and unpleasant dream and eventually got up, will try to get to sleep watching rubbish on the TV!

Good luck tomorrow cornish and Angelina (rehearse that tacking up in yor head before you get there!)

[Lol]

So tired today. I want to throttle and love my beautiful girl all at the same time. I can't stop trying yet.

[danbob]

not feeling good today at all, managed 4 hours sleep last night, feelin a mixture of sad, tired and annoyed

[Munchroom]

I woke up when chris did thismorning and felt 'ok'.... my mum phoned to remind me of my aunts birthday  I got some washing on, had a quick browse online and then decided to go back to bed 'for an hour'... I've just woken up!  (1pm)

I feell very run down... I have things like one of those tiny weeny and very painful ulcers you get on your tongue and throbbing under my eyes... The 'fizzy' feeling was bad yesterday and iit seems to have doubled today. I've never had it in more than one place before and its in my legs a lot, which I have never noticed before  Hoping its having a final big push before it goes!! Tickly cough is still here... it'd be ok if that got worse!! (weirdly  ) and least then it wouldn't feel like it was lingering... I've had it for over a week now and it is no better and no worse but shows no signs of going!!

I had a bit of a chat last night with Chris about seeing the Peter photos and how I still miss him - he is still adamant that he is poisonus to both of us and that all the things I miss about him weren't actually 'real' - just a ploy to wedge himself between me and Chris. He's still very angry (Chris) and I don't blame him, not one bit - but I still miss Peter  I hate my mind sometimes... why can't I just let things go?!?!?!?!?! He was an absolute dick - I know that, I realise he took advantage and what he did was wrong but we still had so many good times together and he was always 'there'....  I'm rambling now... One day someone will actually create a company like Lacuna Inc in Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind and then I can get rid for good!!   

Chris is so understanding though.... he wasn't angry or annoyed about our chat,not one bit. He said that my mind is going to be all over the place at the moment and I'll feel like I have no idea whats going on in my own mind, which will be pretty scary... (You can probably tell that by this post!)

Gotta try and find some motivation for tidying up thisafternoon, I know I'll feel better once its done and things like.... socks are all paired up and organised!! But I think between now & then there will be a lot of coffee consumed...