How are you feeling today?

[Lol]

Zaf if you're watching, today's nearly over! You have got through it, you will hopefully be able to sleep tonight, and tomorrow is a new day. maybe you will feel better than today? who knows. Did you do too much yesterday while you felt better? Can be a trigger for a few dodgy days if you 'siezed the moment' and did too much can't it? Thinking of youl.

[cornish]

i have 3 left, dunno why as i take them in 2s  im really confused as i should have more but ive been takeing a lot more than normal recently to get me though the day. i should be able to last till i can get more tomorrow.
i normally take about 6- 10 a day, have only had 4 today and i really really need another 2 tonight, but i wont make it tomorrow on just one. i actually have the prescription paper thing, i just need to collect it but im working all weekend again, ive fallen back into my bad habit of working long hours, 7 days a week  

[Lol]

Do you know what this feels like sometimes... it feels like some sort of tragedy movie where I sometimes picture us all trapped down sections of a mine or a well each, all dark, cramped, cold, damp, unsafe, lonely, scary, but we can still hear and shout to each other and we each know how horrendous it is when we focus on the situation and all we can do is communicate with each other which is a life saver because imagine if we couldn't! God bless the internet. And each other x

[Lol]

cornish can you take 1 instead of two to eek it out a bit or doesn't it work that way for you?
You must take time out of your busy day tomorrow to collect your prescription, you're more important than work  xx

[cornish]

they hardly have any effect as im officially addicted and i need a higher dosage to work on me 

will put off the first thing in the morning ones if i can and try n hang on for the first 2 then take the 3rd one when i really need to, by then i should have some more.

i cant help but think work is more important.

[Alstare1974]

Lol

I don't know if I connect or not

[cornish]

have you done any research into p.t.s.d. ??

[Lol]

Cornish I know how important work is to you from previous posts and it obviously is but you are more important by far. And without you you couldn't do the work could you!?   Hope you manage OK with what you have left and get some more quickly tomorrow. You are going through alot without that to worry about also.

Alstare, what are the pros and cons to what your friend has suggested when you are trying to figure out whether there is something in it or not?

[Alstare1974]

have you done any research into p.t.s.d. ??

A little bit yes.

Dunno if there are pros and cons are there?

[Lol]

I mean what are your for and against arguments regarding his view? pros and cons was a bad way of putting it apologies.

[Alstare1974]

Well for the argument is that it was a traumatic event that led to a really rough time in my life that I've never really got over. Against is that I don't get nightmares or suffer major mood swings so surely that makes it depression.

[Lol]

Cornish is right, you may not expect to get a text book picture of ptsd in yourself, and you may have other ilness processess such as your depression that alter your perception of possible symptoms of ptsd. If you feel it is worth looking into maybe that would be a useful/productive thing for you. From some one who has never experienced such atrocities first hand as war, and loosing people in this way it seems entirely possible that you could be suffering ptsd. I want to say 'why wouldn't you!'. But it really isn't for me to say. Your feelings about this incident are private and fought internally however they affect you. If you wanted to explore it a professional could help you to do this. Do you feel like looking into it a bit more to see?

[Alstare1974]

Yeah. I'll mention it to my doc and cpn when I see them next week

[cornish]

Well for the argument is that it was a traumatic event that led to a really rough time in my life that I've never really got over. Against is that I don't get nightmares or suffer major mood swings so surely that makes it depression.

back to my point,   technically with the symptoms im showing i dont have ptsd but from the 3 assessments ive had,  not counting the joke of an assessment from my solicitors. i have ptsd along with quite a few other problems, dunno if you know my story but mines complicated a bit by part of my brain "possibly" but pretty much definitely damaged.   i hope the possibly part is right 



yeah i know deep down im more important but ive worked my self into exhaustion before, i did 3 months without a day off, minimum 12 hour days and one week i worked nights, 2 nights in a row as well as during the day.   that was not a good idea

[Lol]

That sucks. I worked 13 hour shifts for 5 years. Not pretty. I saw many colours in myself that I didn't like. I feel a lot of guilt over how I was during that time.

I've got to try to get some sleep. Good night guys. Lol x