How are you feeling today?

[Munchroom]

Zaf, you are so right - thinking 'whats the worst that can happen?' forces you to think logically about things. I do it all the time, I can't say it works 100% of the time, but when it does - its a good thing!

Not wonderful today - 'bad days' seem to be increasing again   All day I have felt I could just burst into tears at any time, I've managed to hold it off apart from once.... but I have had zero motivation. Forced myself to get dressed and out into the garden at about 3pm and did a couple of bits and managed to cook us some dinner. I am so scared though - why are things getting worse now??? My eatings going back downhill (I am so scared of putting on weight its, well, scary...) I can't concentrate on anything, reading has gone out of the window   nevermind actually sitting down to write something! My sleep is just full of nightmares, I keep thinking about Peter and all the regret and guilt I feel over that... and on Saturday I self-harmed for the first time in months  

I don't know why this is happening! I know bad days are to be expected, but this isn't just the odd day. I can't put Chris and my family through all of this again - I see Chris getting worried or frustrated and it breaks my heart   I don't know how to cope with this again

Sorry xx

[cornish]

awww huge hugs to you nay. youve supported me a lot so ill do what i can to help you.

[Alstare1974]

Munch - sorry to hear you're having a rough time of things again at the moment.  !"! I know it can be really rough.

Been out for dinner at a friends tonight and now feel really empty. Got some tough love about how I should man up and go back to work. I know what they're saying but I'm just so scared of the world, I prefer hiding under my duvet.

Bit scared I'm just going to end up living at my parents forever.

[Zaf]

cornish, would it be possible to write to the solicitors rather than phone? 

nay,  sorry to hear you're feeling so much worse,  wonder if it might be worth going back to the doctor to tell him/her and possibly get your meds changed or the dose altered?

Alstare,  your friends have no idea what its like to be depressed if they can say things like that,  I have a good friend who says similar things but I have to simply ignore her as I know she cannot have the slightest comprehension of how it feels to want to hide away from the world.  I spent 4 months unable to go outside after my first breakdown,  all I can say is that medication, rest and counselling helped me to recover so there is light at the end of the tunnel eventually but it can take a damned long time - and sometimes we slip back after a few good months which can be very disheartening but each time I've slipped back its got easier to fight it.  Allow yourself to rest and hide away,  thats what your body needs at the moment, the time to push yourself will come but I dont think you're ready just yet.

Hugs to all xx

[Karian]

feeling Blah, been a rough week, so not doing anything today was supposed to have my OT at noon but have cancelled I dont want to speak to anyone really today as I will either scream and shout or crumble and cry, neither option sounds like it is worthwhile

[Munchroom]

Hi Zaf - I have my appointment with the mental Health Team on Monday and then the doctors on Tuesday. My doctor is reluctant to change my meds as the venlafaxine are the first lot that actually seem to have some sort of postive effect - after trying about 5 or 6 others  he also said he can't increase the dose because I am on the highest that he can prescribe - apparently the people in the mental health team can prescribe higher doses which he can then monitor. So.... I get the impression that something like that may well happen...

[Karian]

my sister and sister in law are both on Venlaflaxine
my sister is on 150mg but she also has other meds including quetiapine & valium
My sister in law is on 225mg of venlaflaxine although she rarely takes that dose as she finds it hard to function the next day if she takes that dosage she usually takes 150mg

My sister was on a higher dose of the venlaflaxine while she was in hospital she was getting 375mg
which got reduces to 300mg the dropped twice more to 225mg then 150mg which she is still on.

Hope they get your dosage right and it makes a difference x

[Zaf]

Hi Zaf - I have my appointment with the mental Health Team on Monday and then the doctors on Tuesday. My doctor is reluctant to change my meds as the venlafaxine are the first lot that actually seem to have some sort of postive effect - after trying about 5 or 6 others  he also said he can't increase the dose because I am on the highest that he can prescribe - apparently the people in the mental health team can prescribe higher doses which he can then monitor. So.... I get the impression that something like that may well happen...

Hope they get things sorted for you, its so very disappointing when things get worse


I had a dreadful day, largely due to other people, or perhaps my inability to deal with other people being horrid, hopefully tomorrow will be better....

[Alstare1974]

Hi Zaf - I have my appointment with the mental Health Team on Monday and then the doctors on Tuesday. My doctor is reluctant to change my meds as the venlafaxine are the first lot that actually seem to have some sort of postive effect - after trying about 5 or 6 others  he also said he can't increase the dose because I am on the highest that he can prescribe - apparently the people in the mental health team can prescribe higher doses which he can then monitor. So.... I get the impression that something like that may well happen...

I've just had mine upped from 150 to 225 by the psych at the mental health team. He said if that doesn't help they can go to a max of 300. Ho hum. Start taking the extra tonight.

[Zaf]

Hope it helps Alstare :)

[Alstare1974]

Thanks. So do I

[cornish]

i could of but i was suppose to respond within 7 days and havent been able to so far and i think i might already be over the time limit  "£"

[Alstare1974]

Hope it works out Cornish.

[Janey63]

been away from here for a bit- went back to work Monday- doing a 3 day week at the moment.

Monday was really good ,postive start

BUT Wednesday was awful! I was shaky, panicky and close to tears - innthe end i had to ask to go home!

I came home and slept for 2 hours and felt better- today i just feel dissapointed with myself! :-(

Will see what tomorrow brings- onwrards AND UPWARDS

[Zaf]

its always disappointing to have a setback    but try to focus on the two good days if you possibly can xx