Im feeling quite upbeat today, so to anyone who feels really bad, I'm an example of how crap I was feeling last week, to how good I'm feeling today. Whilst everyone is different we all have something in common and that is our mental illness. I was so bad this time last week that I was in A&E asking to be sectioned even though the nurses and my OH that it wasn't the right place for me. If I'd have insisted more I probably would have ended up in a psychiatric ward and when I reflect boy am I glad my OH talked me out of it. I think the fact that I have been keeping busy has really helped, along with the assurance that the crisis team is only a phone call away. I have also forced my self to go out and walk my dog as a form of exercise and as a result I feel like I have achieved something. Slowly each day I have been tackling a few more things which again adds to the feeling of achiement. It's a superhuman effort to get out of bed every morning, but I know that if I allow myself to stay in bed I won't feel like I've had a very productive day. I make a list of things that are choices of things I could do, I don't put any pressure on myself it I don't manage to do it then it can wait until another day. This helps me cope. The other day the crisis team asked me how I was feeling and I said better thanks. They then said what do you think is the reason for feeling better? At the time I was lost for words. Today on reflection I know why I feel better! I feel better because I don't want this illness to get the better of me. I'm going to see my illness like a fight, at the moment I'm winning the fight, there are going to be days when I lose rounds and the illness gets the better of me, on days like these I will rely on my coping strategies, family, people like you on this forum to help me gain the strength again. It will continue like this for however long it takes. I am determined not to let this illness totally consume me. For anyone who is having a bad day there will be better days, please believe me. And for those that are having good days well done you deserve a pat on the back.
