How are you feeling today?

[woozywoo]

So true Lol, so so true!

[CharleysAngel']

I will try to tell her everything. I'm sort of embarrassed about the self harming though, she did ask me if I had done it and I lied because I was scared about what might happen if she knew. If she offers again to tell my mum for me I will probably say yes. I just know that my mum  won't believe me, in fact, I think she will be angry and accuse me of lying. I know its not going to go down well at all.

[Zaf]

She probably knows but didnt want to confront you about it, do ask her to tell your mum about your depression, the longer it takes the worse it will probably be

[Lol]

Sometimes when parents get angry and acuse you of lying about things like this, the decoded version of that is probably that they understand what's happening, believe it because it is real but don't want to believe it because they wish it wasn't real.

How many times have you seen some sort of disaster happen, and clasped you hands over your mouth and exclaimed 'oh no!'. ? Think about that. Why did you say Oh no!? What you are saying there is I wish that hadn't happened/this isn't happening. Same for your mum. Sometimes what comes out of their mouths is an uncensored panic version of what is happening. Give her 24-48 hours after anything she says to formulate abetter response based on how she actually feels once she has processed it. I bet it will be better, and supportive also.

It's always going to be difficult. But remember you have an illness, it's out of your control and you need understanding and support.

[CharleysAngel']

I just don't think she will want to support me, she doesn't like the whole idea of depression at all. And for her own daughter to have it? She won't take to it too kindly. I feel so confused about it, I sometimes wish that she knew, then other times I feel its better that she never knows.

[Zaf]

Older people can sometimes have a stigma where depression is concerned, if you really dont want to tell her its depression then go down the 'limbic inbalance' route - it means exactly the same but doesnt have that dreaded word depression in the diagnosis.

[Lol]

I understand the concept of that feeling. People are surprising though, mostly people feel that they 'don't believe in something' if they don't truly understand it. So if you are going to tell her it is a good iodea to help her to educate herself at that time in order that it goes in with the best chance of understanding. some of the literature metioned on here is brilliant. She might not understnad straight away, but you can help her to and that will in turn help both of you. Prob best not to do a hit and run; tell her but then wait for her to support you... Because she wont be able to if she is not informed. You can help to inform her, but give her time for it to setlle in and digest before you expect her to be of any use support-wise.

[woozywoo]

 

[Lol]

Oh Woozywoo...cumon let it out...

[woozywoo]

I just want to end ot all. Cant go on like this. Have done very little today. Dont feel like i can face work tomorrow. Not eaten much. Feel sick, but is that cos i havent eaten or will eating make me feel sick. Am home alone and dont feel like doing anything for myself anyway.

I can feel it building up inside me....

[Lol]

Oh No. I think eating will help you to feel less sick. Often empty stomach + upset triggers a sicky feeling. try somthing small. Just a piece of toast.

You have a lot to look forward to in your future. Nice things. Keep a focus on that. But also, you are suffering from an illness that will make you feel this way from time to time but you can trust that it will pass and you will have better days.

you feel like you can't go on like this. I don't think you wil have to for mush longer, it wont alwys be like this and you will be happy again. You have ripped the plaster off, the hard bit is done. Give yourself time to adjust and take it at a pace you can deal with.

Do a few minutes of something really physical to defer the building up inside feeling, run on the spot, punch a cushion, do 100 sit ups. Then when you stop, feel it all drain away from you.

try this now...

[Zaf]

I'd say eat a little if you possibly can.

You know this feeling will pass but I do know its hell waiting for that to happen, if physical activity doesnt work or you dont fancy it try some breating exercises or focus on Now, how your body feels, what you can hear around you, the rythm of your breathing, just to stop your mind racing and allow something else to take its place

xx

[woozywoo]

Punched a cushion for a bit.

Have an overwhelming feeling to hurt myself in some way.

[Lol]

Punched a cushion for a bit.

Have an overwhelming feeling to hurt myself in some way.

Squeeze an ice cube tight in each hand for as long as you can bare it.

[Dobbie]

Hey Woozy, I know how you are feeling. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday and have felt really low today. Really nervous about going back to work this week. I really don't know how I am going to cope. However, as Lol said you really need to eat something. Earlier this afternoon I had just a few crackers and then took my daughter for a walk in the country just to get some fresh air. It was really difficult to motivate myself to do this but I am glad I did. For the afternoon I was able to just focus on one thing, my daughter. Please go have something to eat and drink. Thinking of you. X