How are you feeling today?

[Zaf]

Thanks Glen, I plan to read the newsaper and get an early night, with a bit of lucj I'll sleep OK feeling so tired :)

[cornish]

I didn't set out to make it a guilt trip my love... Pleased our chat helped though, I meant every word x

Doublep.... It was what you felt was right at the time, don't beat yourself up over it. Feeling numb is a horrible side effect and it's very hard when that numbness starts to wear off, but it should start to even out soon. I think the feelings of not wanting to be around others and yet hating your own company it's very true of depression, I know it's something I certainly feel sometimes. x

I know you didn't my dear but that's probably the best way to get me to do something

I hope it was more of an encouragement not to do something? 



Not feeling massivley wonderful today.... I think its probably a culmination of things, magnified by the fact I havent taken any Venlafaxine since Friday, I'm so desperate to be off of the stuff!! Having a coffee with a friend later, so fingers crossed things perk up a bit.

How is everyone today? Alstare, how was yesterday after your mixed feelings on Saturday night??

xx

yes it was encouragement not to do something, at least for a little while longer


nay i can honestly say you have been a real lifeline to me, i very much doubt i would still be here if it wasn't for meeting you on that other site before i came on here.  your a wonderful kind and just plain awesome person :)



not particularly had a good day, got in a right state for no reason at all this morning started SI while at work and then just shouted no,   no one else was about and i then felt the need to remind my self not to and carved the word no into the back of my left hand,  now im regretting it as its VERY obviously si.  but when i look at it i do stop and think.  might be a good thing that its there, dunno exactly how i feel about it


later in the day i put the radio on and then heard about the suicide, ive never heard of him before but it caused an argument at work.

[cornish]

getting annoyed with my self that i only really post in this thread and its all negative,  im still reading every, and i mean every post on here but just cant seem to reply anymore, wish i could do more to help

[Got]

Dont feel guilty. If it triggers you, or you feel like you don't have the energy, or ability to reply to the posts, it is not because you are bad. You are going through alot, and so I can perfectly understand how it can be hard for you to post.

Dont worry about being negative...you are being honest about your feelings.

I am sure I speak for everyone when I say that we all want you to improve. If you need to vent negative emotions, then that is ok.

Take care mate. Good night.

[nickynoo]

Wide awake and need to be up in 4 hours to spend a whole day at college.......god damn this monkey mind

[Munchroom]

Cornish, thankyou. I was very moved by reading your post last night.
Please do not feel bad about not posting a lot. You are going through so much at the moment.... And those imbeciles at work are the last thing you need  If the ' NO' on your hand is making you think twice about doing more si then perhaps its a blessing in disguise.

Thinking of you lovely x

[Glen53]

cornish dont worry about not posting. If you pushed yourself to post when you dont feel up to it then you would likely make yourself feel worse. You are simply listening to yourself and refraining from doing so...which is surely a positive thing?

You are explaining your feelings when you do post, even if they are negative and that has to be a positive thing too.

I wish you well, and hope that better days lie ahead for you.

[doublep]

I didn't set out to make it a guilt trip my love... Pleased our chat helped though, I meant every word x

Doublep.... It was what you felt was right at the time, don't beat yourself up over it. Feeling numb is a horrible side effect and it's very hard when that numbness starts to wear off, but it should start to even out soon. I think the feelings of not wanting to be around others and yet hating your own company it's very true of depression, I know it's something I certainly feel sometimes. x

I just wish I didnt do it, even though it might feel right at the time, afterwards I feel worse.
Last night my numb feeling dissapeared and I didnt have a good night at all, so did the obvious again, and 3 hours sleep at the most.
Oh well, onwards and upwards I suppose.

Hope everybody else is getting on alright

PAul

[Zaf]

cornish you are an inspiration a lot of the time and we all understand that at times you cant post because you feel too ill,  keep fighting mate, we are all with you xx



Today I just feel incredibly tired

[doublep]

cornish,

I know I don't post much on here, and seem to just moan about myself.. but I have read through alot of your posts, and I sympathise with you in this very hard time, your posts are an inspiration as you show how hard you try to get through all of this.. I'm sure you can overcome this, and everybody on here wants you to :)

The same goes for everybody else! - Even if I dont post enough to show it.  Thinking of you all.

Paul

[Zaf]

today is getting worse,  I feel effing awful, really down and near to tears, no idea why unless its work making me feel so bad.  I really should be able to cope with this better

[Got]

Sorry to hear this Zaf. It is't your fault. Is there any chance you can finish early and treat yourself some how? I know you have just come back from holiday, but you work so hard. X

[Zaf]

I'm going to finish the invoicing and try to get home by 12ish,  I have a marathon task to breakdown a huge invoice into virtually every damned nut and bolt and every hour the fitters worked which I had hoped to do today as the company wants our existing breakdown even more detailed but thats going to have to wait (so I must be improving a bit as I would have pressed on and made myself do it however long I had to stay).

Thanks for reminding me I need to take care of myself,  I'd have probably gone home and started doing chores 

Z xx

[Munchroom]

I'm so sorry you are feeling so low Zaf   I think Stevie is right - can you finish early today at all?? I realise you probably do this already, but maybe try breaking things that you feel you 'have to do today' into four groups....

Group 1: Things that cannot wait and are absoluteley without question, life or death, end of the world if they don't happen today tasks.

Group 2: Should probably be done today in order to keep other people happy and the wolf from the door

Group 3: Things that can wait until you are feeling braver and stronger after a restful afternoon that you allow yourself to have and don't feel guilty about taking

Group 4: Things than can be delagated to someone else - and yes, ok, they may not be 110% upto scratch, but they are just run of the mill things that need doing. Would be better if you did them but in the grand scheme of things, someone else can do them this time and it won't be the end of the world.

(I know 4 is the one I would struggle with the most)

Hope you manage to get some rest lovely xx

[Zaf]

yes munchroom, I am doing one small last thing then I am going home,  other things can wait now most of the invoices are done (thats keeping the wolf from the door bit!).

I really like your four groups, I'm going to copy them and keep them somewhere close to hand to remind me not to do too much - and yes, number four is the really difficult one!

Thanks xxx