How are you feeling today?

[Zaf]

not sure how I feel today to be honest but thinking of you all xx

[nickynoo]

Feeling a bit disappointed today......was on phone for an hour to the NHS time to talk scheme this morning for my initial telephone appointment, had to rake up alot of painful stuff  from the past, only to be told that I will be waiting 3 months for some counselling......humph, why is it so slow I wanted to be better way before Feb!!!!

Had some reflexology and reiki healing on Tuesday and been feeling a bit ropey since, I know its completely normal as its the body trying to get rid of the toxins in the body and shouldn't last too long, should feel better tomorrow.

Think I might just go back to bed. ZZZZzzz

[Zaf]

three months is a dreadful time to have to wait 

try drinking lots of natural water, that might help the toxins leave more quickly

[Got]

What is Reiki? I've heard of it...but don't know what it is.

[Zaf]

Ive had it but I cant explain it, sorry!

I dont really know how I feel again today apart from weird,  not particularly bad weird but perplexing weird. If I can work out what it is I'll post in my journal

[doublep]

Hope everybody is okay today  :)

I'm feeling angry, I'm fed up of feeling this &$%+e now.. its really really getting to me

Paul

[cornish]

Cornish how awful. You are unsure how to procede because everything is too much to bare at the moment and doesn't seem like it will ever improve. I'm very pleased to hear that your psychologist does not believe it is hopeless and can see improvement. what you have achieved with her is amazing and more than you expected. You have such a good relationship with her and she is important to you. I think you are important to her also.

Sorry Cornish I think you misunderstood what I was asking before. I was asking not how you feel about others but how you think they feel about you?

I hope you have a barable day and things are managable. I know it is incredibly difficult but try to think upon your immense struggle as not how much is in front of you but how much of it you have faught. You have come so far. It is so incredibly difficult and feels torturous. I will be thinking of you today as always, I hope you can post later on it is always good to hear from you.

dunno what to do about the psychologist appointments. i hate them but at the same time feel safe when im there, but at the same time its torture.

dont really think about what people think about me, dont particularly care either.


well i started work at 7.30 am yesterday, i got home 2 hours ago, i couldn't take my antipsychotics, im really feeling that now and i cant really take them now as they knock me out and i cant wake up to an alarm and i have an appointment with my cpn later. dreading it.

so ive been awake now for over 28 hours now. not tired but bloody suffering, dunno what to do about the meds and i really do need them but also i think i need to speak to my cpn, i dont want to but i think i need to, i know when i get there im going to struggle with what i need to say to him

[Zaf]

is it possible to write it down and give him what you've written to make it easier?

[Holykimura]

Hope your all having a good day

[Zaf]

not sure to be honest but I dont think its a bad one!

Hope you are too :)

[isserley]

Today my therapist called and we arranged my first session, it's in just over a week. I'm feeling good about that.
Also I'm meeting an old boyfriend (now friend) tomorrow which is great and getting a massage at Lush SPA on Sunday.
Overall it's been a good day so far.

[Lol]

Cornish I hope your cpn appointment goes ok. I think Zaf's idea of writing things down instead is a good one. However you can get some things out is fine, he will understand.

It is great that you feel safe at your psychologist appointments, what is it about them that makes you feel so safe? It is such a relief for you to have a place to feel safe when you must not most of the time.

I feel sad that you don't really care about how people feel about you because I think people love you and care very much about you. You are a very (stubbornly  ) independant person and are going through a great deal on your own. I wonder if part of the safety you feel with your psychologist is the fact that she actually understands you, your boundaries and how to handle you, your thoughts and feelings and has genuine concern for you and your recovery. It is nice to feel some ones genuine concern. It would be nice to have that all the time, not only at psychologist appointments.

I'm not sure what you must do about your meds. Take them as soon as possible after working with your cpn maybe? Could you phone your gp and ask advice on this? I hope you don't struggle as much as you anticipate when you talk to your cpn. You feel you need to but the idea fills you with dread. I hope you post later on, it would be nice to hear how you got on.

Take Care. Lol

[Lol]

Zaf you seem to have felt a bit up and down and fuddled over the last few days I hope you're ok? Try not to analyse it too much, you've had quite a stressful week by the sounds of it. Talk if you need to.

Lol x

[Zaf]

I think I am thanks lol,  I dont feel down or emotionless but simply neutral somehow.  I think I need a routine or at least a rhythm to my life to keep me on an even keel and last week was anything but routine

We have such a lot of work coming in business-wise that its causing a few problems but we shouldnt moan as at least we do have work during the recession,  the biggest problem is getting the money in unfortunately.

I seem to feel the need to get things 'in order', ie tidy and things up to date, it actually feels quite good for everything not to be in such a muddle.  I decided that as the office was as up to date as I could get it I would patch the office phone over to my mobile and spend the day at home so have been for several short walks with the dogs in the sunshine and tackled tidying my heaps of books and workspace around my PC at home,  it feels satisfying to have done all that :)

While not really trying to analyse how I feel I think its possibly a subconcious feeling that if I have things done, tidy and up to date then I can allow more time for the butterfly to emerge, we will have to see!    I've booked a few days away for us both next week as living next door to the office and workshops there is no way to get a break unless we actually leave the area,  its a tiny cottage with an open fire in the countryside so I'm hoping either to get out and do some walking or just sit and read or listen to music by the fire if the weather isnt too kind.

now.....how are you?

[BladeRunner]

Sounds good, seems today was a good day for most of you :)

I'm in a panic state at the moment and I'm afraid it won't stop for quite some time, until all problems ahead are done with  Thinking about taking my emergency medication. though I already took it yesterday..