How are you feeling today?

[Zaf]

It there anyone you can talk to about these feelings Amanda?

Z xx

[Pina911]

Tired, Really tired. thats how I feel all the time now. Then come 10 at night and I cant sleep. Wide awake. Then when the alarm goes off all I want to do is shut it off and go back to sleep.
But unfortunately i have to go to work and then the day drags by because I am so tired.
My days just seem to be a never ending circle at the moment.
At least its Friday but that doesnt even help improve my mood these days

[Amanda]

Forgive me x

[PaulaJo]

Amanda, it's not true that nobody cares. We care and I care.

This illness is such a trial and I have the utmost understanding and respect for anyone battling against it.

Please hang in there - there are people who care and want you to be well.
What is going on at the moment? Where are you? Are you safe?

 %^%

[Amanda]

My little boy is downstairs building Lego, I am upstairs there are tablets 480 paracetamol 2200mg citralopram sleeping tablets 36 vodka is my drink I like vodka with coke orange whatever vodka used to make things better happier doesnt anymore my other son is at work with his dad my husband a controlling man who ha everything but is never happy I am never good enough I am never right I am useless worthless and deserve nothing everyone thinks I landed on my feet when I was 16 but no one really knows my boys have it all I can never offer then what they have so I can't leave this is the only way out and they will understand one day

[Zaf]

Please call the samaritans or your doctor Amanda

Z xx

[PaulaJo]

Your sons need you Amanda. Don't do it.

Call Samaritans, tell them about how horrible it all is
Their number is 08457 90 90 90

[Amanda]

Feel awful, little one wanted help with Lego, lost the moment and feel terrible, tablets back in drawer and cooking dinner like everything is ok, it's not ok it really isn't, I dont feel very well everything is so loud and hurting my head, like white noise and bad thoughts, really don't feel very well and can't make it better

[PaulaJo]

Don't worry. And don't feel bad/ beat yourself up.
You are only human and don't feel bad for how you felt.

Can you talk to your husband about how you feel?
If not, I really REALLY recommend Samaritans. It is SUCH a relief just to talk to someone and say how you feel, and to just get it out.
It won't solve all your problems, I'm not saying it will, but it will be a BIG help to you and take some pressure off.
It will be a good first step to take.

Have you been to speak to your GP or anyone else lately? Are you on medication?
Keep us updated Amanda x

 *)*

[CatAndMouse]

been feeling very confused and like having a breakdown. plus down both of my sides its soo painful from self harming way too far last night.

i feel like a reck of a person.

hope everyone is having a good afternoon

[Zaf]

Is there someone you can seak to?

[CatAndMouse]

i dont want to annoy Anna, shes probably heard enough of my problems.

[Zaf]

She seems to be very caring, it might be worth trying if you can

Z xx

[CatAndMouse]

i kno but i spoke to her last night when i went rapidly down hill, and this afternoon about how to keep cuts clean. seriousley dont want to bug her :/ im sure she will just get too bothered and annoyed :/

[Amanda]

theyve all gone to the woods, theyll be hours, there nothing left for me here, everyone needs a purpose, to be needed or wanted, all day fed them, washied and ironed their clothes, not one word spoken to me, just not worthy, just dont matter, there is nothing left for me here now nothing