Suicidal thoughts

[definitely_maye]

Hi everyone,

I am a 25 year old Male from Manchester who was diagnosed with Clinical Depression at christmas time. I had been struggling with Depression for 6 months prior to that after rejection from a girl i'm mad about. Sounds pathetic I know. Since then it's been a real struggle. Been through a lot of weight loss and have cut myself.

I am currently on 50mg of Seratriline(sp?) after being on 40mg of citalopram for months. I am on a waiting list for a psychologist appointment but I think about suicide every minute of every day. It's taking over me. I'm just so lonely and upset all the time. I see people around me with great lives and in good relationships and I know it will never happen for me. I am getting older and lonlier every day.

I don't know if there is a purpose to this post. I just wanted to tell someone something.

[Munchroom]

Hi... welcome to the forums  :)

You have done the biggest and best thing you can do - seeking help! Suicidal thoughts are so dangerous and incredibly scary. For most of last year I constantly battled with them - why should I carry on if I was going to be battling with myself for the rest of my life? Surely it would be easier on everyone that loved me if I wasn't around? Was is the only way to stop the constant thoughts and questions that my own mind kept presenting for me? I was just going round and round in circles and more than wanting to actually die, I just wanted to get out of my own head - if that makes sense?

Please please believe me that you won't always feel like this. You are 25.... thats not old! (I'm 26, so re-assuring myself here too!!) Its so easy to look at other people and think they have everything... no-one has everything perfect! People could look at me and think: loving relationship, own house, gorgeous dog... half of those people don't know I constantly battle with my own demons in my head because I choose not to tell them! Everyone has their own personal demons and just because they don't wear labels on their heads doesn't mean that they aren't suffering in different ways... be it money, family, job security, relationship problems... we're all so quick to put on a front and pretend everything is just hunky dory, when underneath everyone is exactly the same.

You are on the right track and it probably will take time - but you will get there  :)

Nay x

[Poppyhead]

Hi everyone,

I am a 25 year old Male from Manchester who was diagnosed with Clinical Depression at christmas time. I had been struggling with Depression for 6 months prior to that after rejection from a girl i'm mad about. Sounds pathetic I know. Since then it's been a real struggle. Been through a lot of weight loss and have cut myself.

I am currently on 50mg of Seratriline(sp?) after being on 40mg of citalopram for months. I am on a waiting list for a psychologist appointment but I think about suicide every minute of every day. It's taking over me. I'm just so lonely and upset all the time. I see people around me with great lives and in good relationships and I know it will never happen for me. I am getting older and lonlier every day.

I don't know if there is a purpose to this post. I just wanted to tell someone something.

[Poppyhead]

I know all about the suicidal thoughts! They are very frightening but also feel at the time, the only way out. I have just started taking anti depressants, which will take a few weeks to kick in but also have been taking anti anxiety tablets which have helped with that awful feeling of dread and seemed to have helped me feel calmer. My head is still so busy with how other people, particularly my family, see me and I really hope I can overcome how I feel with some counselling.
Have you tried to find somewhere local to you who can offer counselling? Some do not charge a fee and will accept a donation if you can make one. It's worth having a look. It's better to try and talk to someone if you can. Better out than in!! I'm having a better day today :)