Author Topic: I hate this condition so much.  (Read 1559 times)

one day at a time

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I hate this condition so much.
« on: July 04, 2011, 08:53:35 PM »
I've had depression for as long as I can remember, I've had bad flare ups only a couple of times in the past, but this flare up has lasted at least 4 years and it's destroying my life.

I can't hold down a job, I've been unable to complete my degree, I have no relationships, and even my friendships are screwed up with it as people don't understand the mood swings and how it all makes me feel. I get met with the usual "pull yourself together" comments, or a colleague has depression and manages to work, why can't you. If I try and explain how it makes me feel, or how it makes me see situations different than the way I would have before a flare up, I get told I'm looking for sympathy. I really don't know where to turn anymore.

I'm 34 years old, been a carer for my family since I was 10 years old, and feel like I get treated like a second class citizen as it is because I'm a carer without the depression being added into it as well. If I had a physical illness like epilepsy, diabetes, or even a broken leg people would understand better, but because it's a mental illness I get treated like an unstable freak who's making it all up.

Sorry for the rant, but I think I just needed to say that out loud.
Never let the fear of failure stop you from trying.

lightenup

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Re: I hate this condition so much.
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2011, 02:46:19 PM »
Hi and a warm welcome to the forum.  Its so horrible  "£" I am not working at the moment.  Like yourself I now say I am find if anyone asks, I am unwell for 2 years now, and I just seem to be plied with more and more medication.  I don't know where I fit in anymore.  The panic I feel having to go out, today I had togo with my mum in law to a hospital appointment, I am shaking and exhausted now.  Personally I think no one really understands unless they have had this illness themselves.
     
Poor is the person who takes pleasure out of the persecution of others