https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/royals/article-13697333/Queen-Mary-King-George-V.htmlThe queen with a king-sized inferiority complex: CHRISTOPHER WILSON tells how Mary of Teck was ashamed of her mother, felt insufficiently royal and was hated by her granddaughter Princess Margaret
By Christopher Wilson
Published: 09:23, 24 August 2024 | Updated: 09:56, 24 August 2024
She was the queen with a king-sized inferiority complex. Empress of all she surveyed, adored by millions across the world, Queen Mary was obliged to hide her insecurities and there were many behind a stiff, formal demeanor and a splendidly over-the-top dress style. But inside she was quaking. She was frightened of her husband, King George V, and ashamed of her mother the Duchess of Teck. She felt she was insufficiently royal, and quailed before her 'prize b****' of a sister-in-law. Mary never showed any merriment in case people should hear her 'vulgar' laugh. Though she was engaged to two future kings George V's elder brother Eddie, the Duke of Clarence, proposed first she was forced to keep silent about the only man she truly loved. She hated Balmoral and she disliked her children, including the future Edward VIII and George VI. In turn she was hated by her granddaughter Princess Margaret, who took pleasure in pointing out how un-royal Mary was before becoming queen. Cold, selfish, dull and solitary, Queen Mary gave her life to duty, never once revealing the feeling of turmoil which came from as others saw it her marrying above her station. Born in London in 1867, she did have royal blood her mother was a granddaughter of King George III. But her father Francis, Duke of Teck, was merely an Austrian-born nobleman of no great distinction and, worse, no money. The duke lived off his wife's royal allowance but the couple were spendthrift, and at one stage had to escape their creditors by hiding in France for a few years. On their return Mary's mother, Princess Mary Adelaide, became famous for her fatness, her brash behaviour, and her chronic lateness. Their daughter whom they called May shrank at her parents' outrageous and often bad-tempered behaviour, and was humiliated by their enforced exile. And so she was amazed and eternally grateful for being picked out of a gaggle of wannabe wives to become the bride of the Duke of Clarence, a man of diverse tastes, including drink and other men. The choice was not popular with all the royals, including her father-in-law the future King Edward VII, who 'stamped about the place' on hearing of the engagement. Lady Juliet Duff recalled that May, 'was frightened of, and subdued by' Edward VII. She was very conscious of being insufficiently royal by birth and once said, "Isn't it kind of them?" when someone mentioned the Emperor William of Germany was coming to lunch, Her lady-in-waiting ticked her off for this.'
Mary's biographer James Pope-Hennessy adds that the other royals used to make fun of the way she dressed. But if it's true she laced herself up liberally in diamonds and pearls, looking like something out of a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta, the people liked her that way. In a world where half the globe was still painted pink on maps, indicating the vast extent of the British Empire, Queen Mary cut a commanding figure with her tall, corseted, toqued, and silk-dressed presence, even if, as Lady Juliet said, she did look a bit like Liberace. She moved slowly and gracefully, a remote figure which somehow added to the mystery of monarchy, and her king was grateful to her for it But did he love her?
It's said George had his eye on another girl until his brother Eddie died at the age of 28 and he suddenly found himself to be king-in-waiting. In the way these things were arranged in royal circles, it was decided that May would make a more suitable bride than his own choice and George obediently fell in with the plan. 'My husband was not in love with me when we married,' May confessed to her friend Margaret Wyndham, "but he fell in love with me later."
Only up to a point. Who George liked best, in a non-romantic way, was his younger sister Princess Victoria, the spinster daughter of Edward VII and Queen Alexandra. They talked at length on the telephone every day, and at the weekend Mary had to endure the long drive out to Iver in Buckinghamshire where Victoria lived, and sit and listen as brother and sister lingered long over lunch, chatting away as if they hadn't spoken for weeks. Victoria was snobbish about Mary's lineage. According to the Duke of Windsor (the former King Edward VIII), Princess Victoria was, 'a b**** of the first order', when it came to her sister-in-law. Mary's daughter-in-law Elizabeth, the future Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, kept her distance and as a result was much disliked by her. She particularly 'hated' Princess Margaret, and the feeling was mutual. "Margaret couldn't stand her. She used to say that her grandmother was jealous of her because, being the daughter of a king, she was more royal than Mary, who'd merely married one," wrote Margaret's biographer Tim Heald.
It didn't help that Mary let it be known that she thought Margaret was 'spoiled' and unduly short (she barely reached above 5ft) Margaret never forgave her for that. Clearly, close family relationships were not something Mary was used to. According to the Duke of Windsor, his mother and father had a strained marriage: 'My father had the most horrible temper. He was foully rude to my mother. I've often seen her leave the table because he was so rude to her, and we children would all follow her out not when the staff were present, of course.'
And at breakfast Mary had to play second fiddle to the King's parrot Charlotte, who would waddle around among the bacon, eggs, and marmalade on the table while His Majesty discussed the affairs of state with her, not his queen. And according to equerry Lord Claud Hamilton, 'The King and Queen were simply dreadful parents, the most awful parents. She really didn't care for the children at all.'
That just added to Mary's burden of undeclared unhappiness because she saw being Queen as a job and that job was to serve and support the king, there was no time for worrying about secondary matters like child-rearing. 'She put the Throne above everything,' said her friend Margaret Wyndham.
In pursuit of this sense of duty, she'd even put to one side her love for a young guards officer Arthur, the 5th Viscount Hood. 'She'd been truly in love, the only time in her life,' wrote biographer James Pope Hennessy.
According to Margaret Wyndham, Mary had 'used up her capacity for loving then for although being in love as she could possibly be, he was someone she could not marry' because Arthur was only a viscount, not a duke or a prince. But Mary of Teck served her king, and the country, with devotion, despite her misgivings and shortcomings. She was queen consort from 1910 until her husband's death in 1936, and then continued her duties as a symbol representing the First World War generation until her death at the age of 85 in 1953. Tall, austere, and alarmingly regal to the last, Queen Mary may inwardly have felt unworthy, but she lived up to the job - and sacrificed much personal happiness along the way in order to do it.
