Hi earthangel,
long term depression is horrible; I was depressed off and on for about 30 years so I understand your feeling of being stuck with it forever. The good news is that you can beat it, although it can be a difficult process. Doctors can help but they can't wave a magic wand and as you say, they can't read your mind, so you are the one who really needs to be responsible for your recovery. I think it's important to remember that you can't do it all at once; when you've been depressed for years it can take a long time to get rid of it, so think in terms of tiny improvements. You say you can't get things done and you can't look after yourself; how about giving yourself one thing to do every day for yourself and one thing for looking after your home, they can be really simple things like doing a bit of ironing, washing your hair, for example. You may have to force yourself to do them, but do them, and then congratulate yourself for doing them, this may also be hard but try to do it anyway. Keep doing this and keep focussed on what you have achieved, and it will get easier. Also, try to find something you enjoy doing and allow yourself a little enjoyment every day too. Things like this may not get rid of your depression but they can help you to feel a bit better about yourself and that is a good start.
All the best, bel