Hi

[Ricky2020]

I am new here and am going through a very bad bout of depression and I can’t see anyway out

[Amanda_George]

Welcome along, Ricky!  Sorry you're going through a rough time right now... might be worth having a word with your doc?

I couldn't see a way out either, but I promise you there is a way out - keep holding on as best you can each day and reach out to us here whenever you need to!

if you want it?

[Pip]

If I was you I would make an appointment with your GP.no matter how bad it is there is help and you just need to reach out

[Ricky2020]

I know what you are saying is true however it just seems to be getting worse
I am finding myself losing my temper so quickly it scares me and I just can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel

Will post more a little later tomorrow when I have my thoughts together

[Pip]

 

[Amanda_George]

I know what you are saying is true however it just seems to be getting worse
I am finding myself losing my temper so quickly it scares me and I just can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel

Will post more a little later tomorrow when I have my thoughts together

Your GP is definitely a great first step but I promise you that there *is* a light to aim for and you can come out of the other side of this with the right support.  I know it's scary right now, but maybe request a referral to a CPN and some kind of therapist - either a counsellor or psychologist or anyone else?  You might have to join a waiting list, but with the right support, you can definitely come out of the other side.

Talk to us here on the forum whenever you feel you need to and don't be afraid to make appointments with your GP while you're waiting for the referrals too.  You aren't alone in this, Ricky2020!

if you want it?

[Ricky2020]

It seems like I have no clear direction in my life at the moment cause of things beyond my control which is driving me potty things beyond our control really leaves me feeling very low and feeling very alone like I am an outcast but it’s been like that most of my life so I should be used to it right

But I am fighting back but I don’t know how much fight I have in me
Watch this space

[Pip]

Don't give up on life as tough as it may be but you do really need to speak to your GP 

[Amanda_George]

It seems like I have no clear direction in my life at the moment cause of things beyond my control which is driving me potty things beyond our control really leaves me feeling very low and feeling very alone like I am an outcast but it’s been like that most of my life so I should be used to it right

But I am fighting back but I don’t know how much fight I have in me
Watch this space

You've done the right thing by reaching out, Ricky. 

We all understand how you feel 'cos we've all got (or are recovering from) a mental illness so we understand exactly how you're feeling.  Docs can provide help and support during appointments which really can help, but we are all here for you between appointments - 24/7/365.  Keep fighting and we will all be right next to you, cheering you on and helping you back to your feet when you are feeling particularly low.  Keep on keeping on, Ricky!

[Ricky2020]

I am not sleeping at the moment it is starting to drive me and my wife round the bend as when I do get to sleep I end up sleeping the day away and being very ratty with it

[Amanda_George]

It used to be the same for me too... it just adds more frustration to the exhaustion you are already feeling, right?

A couple of thoughts that might help:  no caffeine of any kind after mid-day just in case... give it a week with just having caffeine in the mornings to see if that helps or try decaff tea and coffee after you've had your lunch - that's what I've had to do for medical reasons and I honestly can't tell the difference in flavour!  The second thing is not to go to bed until you can barely keep your eyes open and turn the night thingy on in Windows if you use your computer right up until you go to bed (like I do) and no telly for an hour before you want to head to bed either... ideally no technology at all, other than the radio, for an hour or so before bed.  In reality that's not possible all the time, so maybe you could reduce the amount of technology rather than stopping it altogether?

[Ricky2020]

sorry i have ot posted in a while 
this lockdown has been driving me crazy so my sleep patterns are really bad at the moment

[Pip]

 

[Amanda_George]

if you want it, Ricky2020?

Is there anything you could try that it so out there that you've always wanted to try but have never got around to it?  Or a magasine you can read in bed?  Or a relaxing (nothing that gets your brain working, so no studying or new or anything like that) book?  Short stories and gentle articles are the way to go... something to signal to your brain that it needs to shut up and calm down now kinda thing?  How about exercising so that your body kinda goes "enough already!" when you crawl into bed at night?  It doesn't have to cost anything, just walking a dog a couple of times a day then squats, planks, sit-ups and leg raises are what I do every day and I'm usually asleep in under 15 minutes every night now! 

I walk our dog for about 45 minutes in the morning to get me going for the day, then another 15-20 minutes at about 4pm.  I try and remember to do my squats as soon as I get back in the morning then come online all day, take my pills at about 7pm, head to bed at about 9pm, finish off the day with the planks, sit-ups and leg raises then read a relaxing magasine or book with my favourite radio staion on in the background, until I can barely keep my eyes open and the next thing I know is that it's 5am and time for me to get up to start my day again.

I know and understand only too well how much depression drains your motivation to exercise and it's the last thing you want to hear, but if you can find the motivation every day for a couple of weeks, hopefully you'll start finding that you're getting to sleep earlier and sleeping better too.

I've been where you are now and I've come out of the other side of it, so I'm just suggesting things that have worked for me is all   

[Pip]

  to claire