Help im confused

[Lost and confused]

Heyy

im new to this forum, but im really confused and i just need someone to talk to or someone else that understand because i dont no what is wrong with anymore i dont no whether its just me or whether im depressed or not. I seem to cry all the time over anything and get angry really easy. I get really stressed form school and sometimes i feel like i shouldnt be there at that im worth nothing i just feel like &$%+ and i times i have come to scratching myself to death because it makes me feel better,i just seem to hate myself so much and feel worthless and i have lost attraction to my boyfriend and i dont no why something has just changed and i dont no why it has, i just dont no what is wrong with me anymore. i just want to no whats wrong with me and if there is anyone else who feels like this or if im just wierd 

[bel]

Hi and  !"£ to the forum.
Yup, sounds like depression to me. You are not worthless, that's depression talking. And you are not alone (or weird), we've all felt similar things. I also started being depressed when I was at school and I know it's a horrible lonely feeling. Do you have anyone you can talk to about how you are feeling - friends, parents, teacher, doctor? You can talk as much as you like on here, about what you're feeling, what's going on in your life, whatever. It really does help. People on here will listen and try to help.

Best wishes, bel

[SocialServicesFighter]

I agree with Bel, it's definately depression.

I'll say the same again as Bel, you're not weird or worthless. Depression isn't a picky thing, it can and will afflict itself on anyone.

I guess when you scratch yourself, it's your fore arms?
This is a sign of frustration building up, on not understanding why you feel like crap.
It's also similar to when I got f*cked off years ago and I punched a wall. It's a release of pent up emotions.

The crying and anger are obvious signs.

Losing attraction toward your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner is definately another sign of depression.
Don't feel that you're weird for this either, it's your body's natural defense system going into overdrive because your body knows that your mind is all over the place.
Just be sure to let your boyfriend know what's going on in your head so he knows not to get upset.
It's not his fault and it's certainly not yours.

The fact that you're switched on to these changes and you have noticed your mood swings is a very, very good thing.

Firstly, speak to your Doctor. Think long and clear about everything you are doing, before seeing the Doc because the more information you can give him the better.
It might hurt inside going over all these emotions, but it will certainly help you to help your Doc.
If it helps, ask your boyfriend to go to the Doc with you, it'll give you support and allow your bf to hear exactly what's going on too.


Good luck, and have a rant whenever you like on here.

[lightenup]

Hi Lost and Confused, as Bel and SSF have both said you have clearly all the signs of depression.  We know how scary this all is, do you think you can talk to your Dr, even if you don't could you bring and copy of what youv'e written and let them read and open up the discussion.

Your boyfriend is probably bewildered by it all, try talking to him, so help him understand.  I know you feel it is difficult but the reality is because people do not openly talk about depression, we sometimes feel isolated.  The reality is a least 1 in 4 people suffer or have suffered from depression.

The sooner you get help the better, keep posting and reading some of our posts and hopefully they will help you understand.  Also if you set time aside for yourself to do something you enjoy everyday, and when things get difficult think how you would have dealt with the situation when you where feeling good.  Let us know how you get on Big  ((((hugs)))) 

[MINDFUL HELP]

Heyy

im new to this forum, but im really confused and i just need someone to talk to or someone else that understand because i dont no what is wrong with anymore i dont no whether its just me or whether im depressed or not. I seem to cry all the time over anything and get angry really easy. I get really stressed form school and sometimes i feel like i shouldnt be there at that im worth nothing i just feel like &$%+ and i times i have come to scratching myself to death because it makes me feel better,i just seem to hate myself so much and feel worthless and i have lost attraction to my boyfriend and i dont no why something has just changed and i dont no why it has, i just dont no what is wrong with me anymore. i just want to no whats wrong with me and if there is anyone else who feels like this or if im just wierd 

Hi there, welcome to the forum. Like what others have said it does sound like depression. You do seem to have classic symptoms such as crying and getting angry, feelings of worthlessness and trying to hurt yourself by scratching to make you feel better are all signs. In not knowing why you feel like this, is extremely common and sometimes when we feel like this, our thinking and rationale become distorted, it's whats commonly know as "not being able to see the wood for the trees".

It's really difficult to know yourself why you feel like this and most of the time it's better to talk to someone because this will possibly unravel anything you might have not even considered yourself... basically tapping into the unconscious mind. The kind of treatments vary from CBT which is good for depression and to more integrated therapies, depending on peoples situation. CBT like i say is good but it's more for dealing with current issues, so if it's your past what potentially upsetting you then using a more integrated therapy with CBT would be better for you. As far as medication is concerned, personally I think therapy is better first of all, to see how effective it is for the individual, if it's effective then medication is better to be left alone. However some people take medication and therapy together, some just have medication and some just have therapy alone... it really depends on the individual. However personally I would always try therapy first before medication.

Obviously I don't know your full situation, but please don't keep it all in. A big well done in going on the forum and chatting, it usually helps when you talk! I don't know where you are in world but try and find a counsellor/therapist who will listen to you... it may help as it does lots of people.

Whatever you decide to do, please don't bottle it up, speaking to people on this forum might help you as there is some good people on here who are going exactly what you are going through. Also, you say you are at school, does your school have a counsellor or speak to your doctor who may be able to help you in the right direction.

Warm regards
Mindful Help

[Lost and confused]

Thankyou all for your replys they have all given me alot more information and more understanding.

SocialServicesFighter it is my arms i dont mean to do it i cant seem to control it i hit walls to and after i dont it i think why?? :/

I have spoken to my boyfriend about it but he just doesnt no what to say or do and i feel like im bringing him down.

And i dont think id be able to go to the doctor im just too scared too and worryed about what they might think i find it hard to talk to people, and then theres the fact sometimes i feel down for about a week but then after i have had a good cry i feel abit better so then i think i might not be depressed but then something sets it off again i feel like rubbish again

[SocialServicesFighter]

You said the arm scratching is something you can't control? Does that mean you do it unconciously?
If so, it's similar to when I sleep, I clench my fists, sometimes so tight my nails make my palms bleed.
Some people grind their teeth without realising (either asleep or awake). One person I knew would sit and move their jaw from side to side and make it 'click' without realising.

It's a nervous thing, not in a 'scared' way.
It's your mind making your body do things to calm itself.

---
The wall hitting due to losing an element of self control from all the pent up frustration and anger coming out.
I used to do it.
After all the sh*t kept building and building, wham.

If the arm scratching is due to loss of control when you get p*ssed off (like when you get p*ssed off and hit a wall) then it's a 'release' thing.
You're releasing the pent up cr*p in your system, rather like how you said you have a good cry and it makes you feel better.

I hope my rambling explanation has helped

---
I will say again though, you have actually spotted these things you're doing, and you know something's not physically right, which is a good thing.
Most people don't even realise their own physical changes and only concentrate on their mental state, so well done you. Very well done.

In any case, you really should see your Doc.
Don't feel embarrassed or scared, or feel you're letting anyone down or bringing them down.
You're not.
Really, your not.

The Doctor should always be the first port of call for anyone who is in these horrible situations.

Though taking that first step is daunting I know, but the Doc is a doorway to lots of different kinds of help and to people who know exactly how to help you through all the sh*t, both mental and physical.

[Lost and confused]

Yes well i do it when i dont mean to because sometimes it makes me feel better i dont no why, i do get angry really easy though. your rambling has really helped thankyou alot.

Yes know i have noticed them i remember what i used to be like and it hurts to remember, thankyou :) i think i should then if it will help me