Author Topic: Please welcome a middle-aged man in Lycra  (Read 3156 times)

middleagedmaninlycra

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Please welcome a middle-aged man in Lycra
« on: February 16, 2011, 12:35:37 PM »
Hi Everyone.
I was finally diagnosed with mild depression at the end of last year but only after what I now realise has been a few years of suffering. My depression is not serious, but enough to affect my day-to-day life, including relationship to my wife, kids, family and friends, as well as holding me back in my profession.

I'm changing that now by openly talking about my depression, and I know here I'm going to be in good company. Everything I've read indicates that talking helps solve the problem. I've spent at least three years denying anything was wrong, or simply refusing to broach the subject. I feel better now that I am being open.

I've also learned Physical activity is an important part of the therapy, so I've set myself a physical challenge for this year: I plan to get my middle-aged, lycra-clad bottom into shape and ride my mountain bike over the Alps from Germany to Italy. I'll be raising money for a mental health charity along the way.

I'm already feeling better about myself now that I'm being open and being active--focussing on this helps divert focus from myself and my anxieties: has anyone else had similar experiences?

Ezel

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Re: Please welcome a middle-aged man in Lycra
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2011, 03:37:03 PM »
 !"£ and  (*(

Sounds like a great challenge you've set yourself and doing it for charity is a good incentive.  I find exercise helps my mood even if it's just walking our dogs along the cliff tops - we live in walking distance of the coast.   

lightenup

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Re: Please welcome a middle-aged man in Lycra
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2011, 04:39:25 PM »
A warm welcome to the forum, it is great feat and jesture you are doing, and half the battle I think is admitting you are not well.  It does help letting off steam here but better than anything is knowing that people really understand what your battleing against.  Well done you :)
Poor is the person who takes pleasure out of the persecution of others

bel

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Re: Please welcome a middle-aged man in Lycra
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2011, 09:00:18 AM »
Hi and  !"£
I must admit that when I saw your name I thought of Colin Firth et al in Lycra at the end of Mamma Mia!
But seriously  ;D, what a great idea, well done! I've also found that physical exercise really helps, and having a focus.
 

sashj

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Re: Please welcome a middle-aged man in Lycra
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2011, 06:25:05 PM »
Hello MAMIL! I'm new here too. I read your post with interest as I too have found exercise, meditation and above all TALKING really useful. I have recently opened up to my employer and my partner, family and friends much more after suffering in silence with people wondering what's wrong with me for a long time. The upshot is, my family and partner now have much more understanding and have helped and supported me to work out how I can help myself to feel better, as well as encouraging me to get support through counselling and listening to how these sessions have gone. This helps them to understand how my patterns of thinking get me down more and they can even help me nip it in the bud!

My employer has also been really supportive, much to my surprise and I have come to the conclusion openness and honesty are the best policy, especially about an illness that's as rife as the common cold and shouldn't be a taboo subject anymore. With support, I have managed to remain in employment and achieve success in my work as well as bein encouraged to talk openly if I'm struggling. As a result, I feel more valued and have not been made to feel any different from any other staff.

Anyway, enough about me, hope you are well and good luck with your fitness regime!

middleagedmaninlycra

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Re: Please welcome a middle-aged man in Lycra
« Reply #5 on: February 19, 2011, 09:50:19 AM »
Thanks for the welcome and replies.

Just to add to what sashJ said about being open. Since I told friends and family, four of my closest friends 'confessed' that they either have in the past or are currently undergoing some form of treatment for depression. My sister also told me that she was on medication for a while. I had no idea about any of this because none of us openly talk about it.

Has it alienated me from them? Absolutely not--it's formed an additional bond in the relationships I have with them. One of my friends actually told me that it was meeting me and my wife that helped him on to the road of recovery. Now that's meaningful.

bel

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Re: Please welcome a middle-aged man in Lycra
« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2011, 11:04:55 AM »
That's great - the silver lining!

I'm sure depression and other mental health "problems" are far more common than we realise; it's just that most people bury them and deny they have a problem, while slowly dying from the inside. I think that the more people that "come out" and talk about these things the better it will be for all of us.

middleagedmaninlycra

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Re: Please welcome a middle-aged man in Lycra
« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2011, 08:43:16 PM »
So, so true