First time on here, hope someone will identify with this.

[astrid]

Hi all  ,

I'm 22 and I have been suffering from depression/anxiety since about kindergarten age, but developed agoraphobia in dec 2009. Although I'm not totally housebound anymore I still struggle with travelling anywhere on my own, especially on public transport and I can only be around people I know well or places I've deemed as a "safe" place.

At the moment I'm in this really difficult place where my partner and I are under significant financial stress because I can't work and I'm under enormous pressure to be better in order to return to work. But the more pressure I'm under the worse I get so it gets increasingly harder to do anything. It's a horrible vicious circle and I was just wondering if anyone has ever been in a similar situation.

I feel I'm expected to just "get better" as though I can take a lemsip and recover from the cold, but as we know it's not like that at all.

A

[Burley]

Hi its my first time here as well I have just seen your post and it rings a lot of bells for me, I am currently in employment which i struggle with but need to pay the rent I have a lot of time off due to depression and im always scared I will lose my job. although I take medicatioon i have weeks where I cant leave the house and find it hard to be around large groups of people, I also feel that people just sort of think you can shake yourself out of it I dont think people realise how much fear grips you when you are ina strange place or around peole you dont know I tend to be able to cope aslong as I dont need to speak to anyone if I get approach it scares me , Im not sure I can offer you any advice because I dont know how to deal with it myself but Just wanted you to know your not alone xx

[astrid]

Hi Burley,

Thank you for replying 

Although it must be so difficult for you at the moment it's nice to hear of your experiences as I don't really know anyone in the same position as myself. I've known many people with depression and anxiety but never to the same extent as us. I have the distinct impression folk think I'm a bit emo  Don't know if you've felt anything similar.

Anyhow, I wish you the very best of luck,

Thanks again,

A x

[Burley]

I  just get the impression people think im fakeing because I do have some ok days and thats when people see me, People dont understand we would do anything not to feel like this and just feel "normal"

I hope you sort tings out I wouldnt recommed going back to work if your not ready thoough as it can make you worse, Im not sure where in the world you are but im in the UK and there is a benefits system that isnt great but can help people if they cant work it maybe worth looking into this as if nothing else it could just give you some breathing space until your ready for work.

Good Luck

Burley x x

[astrid]

Hello!

I know what you mean about people thinking you're faking it, although it's not the same with me I can tell people fail to understand the inconsistencies of the condition. Like they don't get how one day I can make it somewhere on my own then the next I stay in bed for 18 hours and can't even make it to the end of the street on my own. I guess that's what it's like with you.

I'm in the UK too  I'm up in Scotland and I have tried to get help with benefits but they outright just said no as you have to get doctor's notes etc... I've seen around 8 docs in the last year but they never take me seriously or really listen. They just prescribe meds that don't work and swap them around when I go back to say they don't help. Either that or they don't do anything at all. When I first became agoraphobic my fiancee tried to get a cpn to come see me but nothing happened. I've asked so many doctors for some psychiatric help or a cpn and they say I'm on a waiting list type thing but I never hear anything. One doctor even told me he'd never heard of anyone housebound with anxiety and he said I was a waste of a young life. Have you found the NHS useful for you? You said you're on medication too. I feel the people who get the most help are the alcoholics and heroine addicts. I don't begrudge them the help they need but I can't help feel it's a tiny bit unfair. Correct me if I'm wrong though.

I hope you start to get better soon!    And I hope things at work will be ok for you.

xx

[SocialServicesFighter]

You say you're under pressure to go to work and that lack of work is causing money problems.

Is it the job center that are pressing you to go to work?
If so, see your Doc again, tell him the situation with them and that they are adding further stress to what you're currently suffering.
Ask him to write the job center a letter telling them to leave you alone and to place you on incapacity benefit.

Permanent incapacity should be around £100 per week.

If your Doc isn't taking you seriously, speak to the local council complaints department (don't go to citizens advice or to the Doctor's reception) and place your complaint.
Then go directly to the job center for advice on mental health help. They should point you toward the local Psych Doctor and he will help you sort out your work/job center problems and will help you with the agoraphobia.

[astrid]

Hi there,

Thank you for your advice. I feel under pressure from my family to return to work as I can't contribute to the household. I think I will go back to the doctor and see if I'm able to get anywhere. I never thought of the council complaints department so thank you for pointing me in their direction. I also never realised the Job Center could be so helpful.

Thanks again! You've been a massive help

xx

[Burley]

Hi Astrid,

I have found my GP very helpful she has been my family GP since I was born and when I need her to she will come out to see me although this can be difficult so if she cant make it she will even talk to me over the phone,

I dont know what medication you have been given but there are so many different types that the same ones wont work for everyone most people with depression are initially prescribed Fluoxitine (prozac) but i know lots of people who have taken this and it has made them feel worse, I am currently on Venlafaxine i take 150mg a day it doesnt cure me as medication never will but it can make it easier to deal with and helps increase the number of 'good days' I have.

Its worth requesting to change your GP if he/she is saying they are not aware of people being housebound with depression/anxiety.

As for the benefits system im not sure if its different in Scotland as im in Yorkshire but When I was on incapacity benefit and wouldnt leave the house they someone out to me to do a medical assessment and allowed me to do everything over the phone instead of having to go to a busy jobcentre

dont give up on trying to get help just change your tact you shouldnt have to go back to work if your not ready

hugs to you hope you get things sorted x x

[lightenup]

Hi Burley and Astrid  !"£ to the forum,  I think a good GP is worth their weight in gold.  It took a while to get diagnosed, I was being sick and had chest pains insomnia etc.  To be honest as I never had been on ESA ever (never ill or ignored if I was) I was sent to medical, looking back I was so ill (anxiety and depression) I cried through it.  The Dr said I should speak to someone, and deemed me fit for work! My Dr wrote a letter of appeal which was ignored, and I ended up going to tribuneral, where I was grilled for and hour (solicitor and dr part on the panel) which I passed.  It seems because I was not diagnosed specifically at first, was the reason I was failed.  I recently have had to re-fill in the ESA application form, and had to get help with it because it was so difficult to understand.  To be honest the pressure to get better and get back to work i think is not helping my condition to some degree (I put myself under enough pressure) .  I constantly search for jobs, although I know I am in no shape to work (head is scrambled) this is also confirmed by my CBT therapist.

On the occassion I have been to the job centre, they have been really nice, but it is difficult to know where to get the right help.  I have worked over 30 years and feel at a loss, and I have to agree with you Astrid those that abuse the system seem to get all the help.

BTW mindful help are located on in the Uk and offer a free service, they have posted here on the forum, maybe they can be of some help.  I think I am very lucky that my GP is supportive (he is one of those Dr's that don't suffer fools lightly) and has got me a place on CBT.  Take care xx

[astrid]

Hi Lightenup!

I'm very happy for you that you have a great doctor. You're very lucky. Although I'm very sorry to hear about the tribunal. That sounds very stressful and it must have been very difficult.

I had a look at Mindful Help and it looks like a really great service. Do you have any experience with them?

Thank you for your response. It is very much appreciated.

Astrid
xx

[lightenup]

Hi Astrid, I have no experience as yet, as I have been going to CBT weekly which is extremely exhausting and I have to travel to get to, so involves a morning or afternoon..

Mindful help seems to run a similar service which seems similar, so thought maybe would be of help.  BTW I'm from Northern Ireland.  Take care xx 

[bel]

Hi Astrid,

I can't identify with agorophobia (lucky me!) but do understand how you must feel pressured to work and contribute. And I know how frustrating it is when people expect you to just "pull yourself together". If you could you would, but it's not that simple.

I don't have experience with Mindful Help but I know that they do e-mail "consultations/therapy" which may help you.

I love your happy box idea that you wrote about in Burley's thread, by the way.

All the best, bel