Ridicule depression!!!

[Bubblemama]

How do I deal with somebody who ridicules depression and anxiety. Somebody who is very close to me has just said to me that depression is a state of mind that you choose as anybody can snap out of it at anytime!!! This has really upset me. They have witnessed me first hand going through such severe anxiety that at times I couldn't breathe through the suffocation of it all.
Am I right in saying that unless you have suffered it you will never fully understand the extent at which people go to not to suffer every single day. I fight so hard every single day to not have another relapse. I am in a good place right now and have been for a while. The thought of the crippling suffocation and darkness of anxiety scares me to death. I don't think I would actually get through the other side if I had another relapse. The last one was so debilitating.

Sorry for ranting.

[Amanda_George]

maybe ask this person if someone with back pain can just snap out of it or a sprained ankle or something like that?  Just because they can't see your illness doesn't mean that you're not suffering!   

[Bubblemama]

Thank you for your reply Amanda.

Today I used that exact come back. I am still waiting for a reply xxx

[Amanda_George]

WTG Bubblemama... maybe use the "snap out of it" line on them next time they have a headache too?  Give as good as you get sorta thing?  Make them suffer with the physical pain you are feeling mentally?   

[Pip]

I have had that line chucked at me as well over the years and I've responded on the lines of "when you understand what depression is like you can tell me to snap outof it" and "would you tell somebody to get over diabetes or asthma?"

We have a friend who thinks being depressed is just feeling a bit low or having a bad day.   It frustrates the heck out of both of us as we like him a lot but he just doesn't 'get it' even though we have explained what we go through and that we take anti depressants.

[Bubblemama]

You are exactly right Pip. Although I am having a very hard time provin depression is real as I was told that it's all in the head (I'm sure no pun was intended). Also it was added that there is no physical symptoms ie pain or wounds etc so it means it's not real. I have had to distance myself now as all I want to do is scream at this person!!!!! I do have pain and I do have wounds it's just I choose to hid them!!!!

[Amanda_George]

You are exactly right Pip. Although I am having a very hard time provin depression is real as I was told that it's all in the head (I'm sure no pun was intended). Also it was added that there is no physical symptoms ie pain or wounds etc so it means it's not real. I have had to distance myself now as all I want to do is scream at this person!!!!! I do have pain and I do have wounds it's just I choose to hid them!!!!

But physical pain isn't visible either but nobody deny's that's real!  Next time this person has a headache, tell them it's not visible so it's not real so snap out of it to them!   

[Pip]

Yes that is true about pain as well  .   Having suffered pain for several years due to arthrits, longer in my right wrist, people including those close to me didn't realize how much pain I suffered.  It's only because I've been using a walking stick in recent years and a crutch when the pain is really bad that they do know now. 

[stewart]

Hi Bubbles, while depression is indeed a state of mind, it is NOT a place we chose to be,
many things can cause this from a traumatic experience to a chemical imbalance in the brain, neither of these can be ''snapped out of'',
(hell, do those that say such things think they are in the Marines and have the ''suck it up'' attitude).

the latter of the two could well be caused by the traumatic experience, and it is not your fault, then chemical imbalance could be with you from birth,
I have had depression as far back as i can remember, unfortunately it went very bad for me recently when a traumatic experience happened.

[lostmyway]

hi

I think if you've never suffered from it , you're very unlikely to be able to understand the condition (depression, anxiety and so on).  We all need to be around the right people, that can be helpful and at least understanding what we are going through.  Some of my problems stem from my personality, others socio-economic and so on.  Having a decent support system in place is what helps to make sure we stay in balance with what's going on.  Its now November and I find I sleep far too much at this time of the year (reduced daylight, getting colder and so on.)  Circadian rhythms are outta sync.

My prob is I don't have enough to do during the day, and am currently not working.  It can be hard to as they say 'snap out of'.

[Amanda_George]

I know this is going to sound wrong, but I can't think of a positive way to say it so I'll just say what's in my head and apologise in advance!

Have you thought about trying something totally new and different while you're not working?  Not necessarily a hobby or anything, but something you can say to future employers that you've learnt while being out of work?  Learning how to create a website or volunteering somewhere or something like that?  It will look good on your CV, will sound good in interviews and will give you something to focus on while you're awake?  Maybe you could walk dogs or help out at your local hospital or take the elderly in your community out and about a bit or something like that? 

How creative are you?  Could you maybe take an evening class in drawing or pottery or creative writing or something like that?

Can you afford to study with the Open University maybe?

Just a few thoughts for you, Lostmyway