Author Topic: hi all im NEW and it feels like home already!!  (Read 4956 times)

Emma_Mc

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hi all im NEW and it feels like home already!!
« on: July 12, 2015, 11:41:42 PM »
Hi Everybody im a new member as of from tonight so i want to take this opportunity to tell you all a bit about myself, im 35yrs young lol with 2 kids aged 4 and 6, i have a diagnosis of Depression, GAD and possible Bipolar Disorder, im really struggling at the min as i live in a small town where nothing like this happens and no-one really understands what im going through as all i seem to be getting at the min off of my family is "pull yourself together" or "you just need to get on with things" its so frustrating i just want to scream but if i do i dont think i'll ever stop, so im feeling pretty isolated at the moment so it would be great to talk to people in the same position as me or that knows what im going through, come say hi!! x

bumble83

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Re: hi all im NEW and it feels like home already!!
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2015, 03:54:24 PM »
Hi sorry ive just joined and im not even sure how to add a post !
I guess im looking for someone elses view or experiences.
im married to a lovely man for four years and we have a14month old son.we dont live in our home countries but have made a life and a home with gopd jobs etc here in the uk.
my husbands family have always baffled me.they say his mum has suffered from depression since forever.its lile an elephant in the room.she takes some sort of diazipam every day all day.by lumch she will be incoherent and pulling Funny facial expressions and spasms.she just sits all day. His father is agressive and oponiobated and was very abusive and violent when my husband was growimg up.but they all just accepted it as thats a man and testosterone !!
i met my husband away from his friends and family.he was travelling.he was kind and loving.but not very social i supppse.when i moved to his country 6 mo ths intp pur relationship i saw that he didnt have many friends.i put it down to his travelling and maybe some people dnt feel the need for close friends. He used to have a terrible temper.would throw things and even get frustrated at traffic lights...his dad did the same so i felt sorry fpr him and thought it was just learnt behaviour.we were crazy in love so maybe i wqs blinng back ded.
 We got engaged and married and moved to the uk.looking back in our arguments he would be explosive...but it may start from me saying something  and he would be very critocal..everythimg...how i didnt fold his u derwesr properly.if i was cooking every time without fail he would walk in adjust temp.like a power thing! He would curse and name call etc if i challenged him.
then i got pregnant.we wer on hols at 3months and we both got food poisoning.i had to go to hospital.he would only walk slowly in.he said to nurse was my drip necessary he never had one and he had the same.selfish.always back to him.when we got home pregnancy hormomes and food posionin i just wanted yo sleep alone.he went beserk.irrational stuff.calling my mum names.cursing.breaking me down!
We battled through because a baby was on the way.new years eve we went for a meal.i f
Lt fat and ugly at 6 months pregnant.causually saod i dont want to be hete with all these pretty girls.i was working 12 hour days and exhaustd also as well as hormones.he drove us he.screamimg breaking me down more.he would hypwr ventaliate... pushimg me and shovimg me .i didnt understand.
baby was born.ot got worse.good days would be fantastic but bad days a nightmare.he was cruel to the baby.i put a pillow beside my son in cot as he was sleepim on his side and if he rolled he would wake up.my husband was obsessrd with sleep so went to other room most nights to get sleep.on his way he took the pillow and woke the baby.i said why did u do that...he went beserk.throwing his birthday presents down the stairs.shluting.tuened the lights on and woke the baby...
this was actual a regular thing this kind of behaviour.
ive reached brrakimg point.he arrives home from work and if i dont jump up and kiss him immediately he lies in bed and ignores me and the baby all evening.he works easy hours.he doesmt do any housework.i work part time and do it all..
he went to doctor and doctor gave him anti deressants.
this is my question.does he  sound depressed? Or is he just nasty and horrible.i feel aoo unloved.i do lo e him but its dwindlimg.i want a normal happy home for our son. He says six months on anti depressants and then he will be in a better place ?? Im worried he will end up like his mum and the problem.will never properly be addressed.im ramblimg now but im deaperate to know whta u think.if hea depressed or not ??

Amanda_George

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Re: hi all im NEW and it feels like home already!!
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2015, 04:16:47 PM »
Hi Everybody im a new member as of from tonight so i want to take this opportunity to tell you all a bit about myself, im 35yrs young lol with 2 kids aged 4 and 6, i have a diagnosis of Depression, GAD and possible Bipolar Disorder, im really struggling at the min as i live in a small town where nothing like this happens and no-one really understands what im going through as all i seem to be getting at the min off of my family is "pull yourself together" or "you just need to get on with things" its so frustrating i just want to scream but if i do i dont think i'll ever stop, so im feeling pretty isolated at the moment so it would be great to talk to people in the same position as me or that knows what im going through, come say hi!! x

Welcome to the forum, Emz!  You've found a great place for support of your mental illnesses!  I'm sorry your family weren't more supportive when they found out about your illnesses!  Have a read through and post as soon as you're ready and we'll listen and help and support you as much as we can!   :hug: if you want it?
Money talks, chocolate sings!  :-D

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

Amanda_George

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Re: hi all im NEW and it feels like home already!!
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2015, 04:25:54 PM »
Hi sorry ive just joined and im not even sure how to add a post !
I guess im looking for someone elses view or experiences.
im married to a lovely man for four years and we have a14month old son.we dont live in our home countries but have made a life and a home with gopd jobs etc here in the uk.
my husbands family have always baffled me.they say his mum has suffered from depression since forever.its lile an elephant in the room.she takes some sort of diazipam every day all day.by lumch she will be incoherent and pulling Funny facial expressions and spasms.she just sits all day. His father is agressive and oponiobated and was very abusive and violent when my husband was growimg up.but they all just accepted it as thats a man and testosterone !!
i met my husband away from his friends and family.he was travelling.he was kind and loving.but not very social i supppse.when i moved to his country 6 mo ths intp pur relationship i saw that he didnt have many friends.i put it down to his travelling and maybe some people dnt feel the need for close friends. He used to have a terrible temper.would throw things and even get frustrated at traffic lights...his dad did the same so i felt sorry fpr him and thought it was just learnt behaviour.we were crazy in love so maybe i wqs blinng back ded.
 We got engaged and married and moved to the uk.looking back in our arguments he would be explosive...but it may start from me saying something  and he would be very critocal..everythimg...how i didnt fold his u derwesr properly.if i was cooking every time without fail he would walk in adjust temp.like a power thing! He would curse and name call etc if i challenged him.
then i got pregnant.we wer on hols at 3months and we both got food poisoning.i had to go to hospital.he would only walk slowly in.he said to nurse was my drip necessary he never had one and he had the same.selfish.always back to him.when we got home pregnancy hormomes and food posionin i just wanted yo sleep alone.he went beserk.irrational stuff.calling my mum names.cursing.breaking me down!
We battled through because a baby was on the way.new years eve we went for a meal.i f
Lt fat and ugly at 6 months pregnant.causually saod i dont want to be hete with all these pretty girls.i was working 12 hour days and exhaustd also as well as hormones.he drove us he.screamimg breaking me down more.he would hypwr ventaliate... pushimg me and shovimg me .i didnt understand.
baby was born.ot got worse.good days would be fantastic but bad days a nightmare.he was cruel to the baby.i put a pillow beside my son in cot as he was sleepim on his side and if he rolled he would wake up.my husband was obsessrd with sleep so went to other room most nights to get sleep.on his way he took the pillow and woke the baby.i said why did u do that...he went beserk.throwing his birthday presents down the stairs.shluting.tuened the lights on and woke the baby...
this was actual a regular thing this kind of behaviour.
ive reached brrakimg point.he arrives home from work and if i dont jump up and kiss him immediately he lies in bed and ignores me and the baby all evening.he works easy hours.he doesmt do any housework.i work part time and do it all..
he went to doctor and doctor gave him anti deressants.
this is my question.does he  sound depressed? Or is he just nasty and horrible.i feel aoo unloved.i do lo e him but its dwindlimg.i want a normal happy home for our son. He says six months on anti depressants and then he will be in a better place ?? Im worried he will end up like his mum and the problem.will never properly be addressed.im ramblimg now but im deaperate to know whta u think.if hea depressed or not ??

Welcome to the forum, Bumble!  We're not medical bods here so we can't give medical advice, but it sounds like hubby has got anger issues... has he been offered any kind of talking therapy or just the anti-depressants?  If you trust your GP, ask him/her for advice on what you should do?  It sounds like you aren't very happy in the marriage!  :(
Money talks, chocolate sings!  :-D

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

bumble83

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Re: hi all im NEW and it feels like home already!!
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2015, 05:20:00 PM »
Yes he has been offered counselling but theres a waiting list. Ues defo has anger issues and reactions never equal the situation that has occurred.is this a sign of depression? This is what hes yrying to tell me but i dont know if its depression or somethimg else? Thank you for ur reply x

Amanda_George

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Re: hi all im NEW and it feels like home already!!
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2015, 06:19:34 PM »
IMHO Bumble?  It can be depression for some people, but not the only symptom... try and get him to see his GP and explain that he has anger issues that he needs help and support with... there might have been issues in childhood or something he's learnt from his parents and he's taking it out on you.  Counselling or therapy will eventually help with it, but he needs to keep going no matter how hard it gets   :hug:
Money talks, chocolate sings!  :-D

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

Pip

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Re: hi all im NEW and it feels like home already!!
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2015, 09:49:49 PM »
Welcome to both of you.  I think most of us if not all have suffered with the pull yourself together lines which is one of worst things anybody can say to someone who suffers with depression.  If it was that easy nobody would suffer with depression.

Bumble ~ I agree with Amanda hehas anger issues and needs the appropriate help with that.  It's for all of you not just him.

Daisy1973

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Re: hi all im NEW and it feels like home already!!
« Reply #7 on: July 16, 2015, 08:16:48 AM »
Hi Emma - welcome to the forum! Have you any friends that understand? I hate people saying "pull yourself together" - it is ignorance of the illness isn't it love. There's enough portrayal in the media isn't there that people should start to understand mental illness.  :chin:anyway love welcome!  :cheerleader:

Daisy1973

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Re: hi all im NEW and it feels like home already!!
« Reply #8 on: July 16, 2015, 08:22:07 AM »
Hi Bumble! Welcome! Goodness me - I don't really know what to say as I have strong opinions about abusive partners so I'd rather keep my mouth shut. I don't really know how depression manifest itself, I guess it can make us angry however I'm not sure to what extreme. Hubby certainly needs help but he needs to help himself. Frankly I'm more concerned about you and baby being in such a hostile environment. Have you yourself taken advice from anywhere about what your options are?

stewart

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Re: hi all im NEW and it feels like home already!!
« Reply #9 on: July 31, 2015, 03:19:04 PM »
welcoming 2 new members in the same thread, save on the typing  :D for the bad typists among us.

the old 'pull yourself together' attitude is unfortunately a common thought of many people,
they just have no idea how depression impacts on every day life,
Without Love we are just a handfull of chemicals suspended in water