Author Topic: Funny puns  (Read 8372 times)

Ezel

  • Guest
Funny puns
« on: August 21, 2009, 10:14:15 AM »
 Funny puns

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

* He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

* Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

* A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

* He wears glasses during math because it improves division.

* Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

* It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

* Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.

* When the waiter spilled a drink on his shirt, he said, "this one is on me."

Yosra

  • Karma Group
  • Newbie
  • *****
  • Posts: 12
Re: Funny puns
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2009, 06:38:36 PM »
Ha, these are brilliant! Except when I was 8 my dad actually drove a Mercedes into a tree

Matface_lost_in_you

  • Karma Group
  • Newbie
  • *****
  • Posts: 18
  • life is poopy
Re: Funny puns
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2010, 11:23:51 AM »
Oh my god! They are so bad... so bad they're awesome! :P
MatFace

adam_kruk1983

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: Funny puns
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2010, 12:00:03 PM »
I got hit by a rental car today. F*****g hertz!  ;)

adam_kruk1983

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: Funny puns
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2010, 12:01:16 PM »
A new nightclub has just opened down the road and they are offering free drinks all night for just under 20 quid... So tonight I'm gonna party like it's £19.99!!

adam_kruk1983

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: Funny puns
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2010, 12:02:11 PM »
I put a couple of 't's in my beer last night. I think it made it better.

adam_kruk1983

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: Funny puns
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2010, 12:03:23 PM »
Some random bloke has just come up to me and has taken my photo. I'm gutted, I loved that photograph....

adam_kruk1983

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: Funny puns
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2010, 12:03:55 PM »
I am irrationally scared of places like shopping centres, particularly if they are confusing and difficult to navigate. I have a complex complex complex

D 2006

  • Karma Group
  • Newbie
  • *****
  • Posts: 18
Re: Funny puns
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2011, 03:57:08 AM »
These puns remind me of Tommy Cooper - I can just see him doing these one liners great!

D 2006

  • Karma Group
  • Newbie
  • *****
  • Posts: 18
Re: Funny puns
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2011, 05:02:39 PM »
Doctors have found a food that can cause depression years after it's been eaten - it's called "wedding cake"  :)

endlos

  • Karma Group
  • Newbie
  • *****
  • Posts: 15
Re: Funny puns
« Reply #10 on: June 14, 2011, 10:42:20 PM »
Glad I found this part of the site   :)

endlos

George

  • Karma Group
  • Newbie
  • *****
  • Posts: 42
Re: Funny puns
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2011, 07:40:26 PM »
2 parrots on a perch.

One turns to the other and says, "Something smells fishy".

I'll get my coat......
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Woody Allen