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Author Topic: Hello from England  (Read 5180 times)

nishty

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Hello from England
« on: January 12, 2014, 11:49:26 AM »
Hello All,

im on here on behalf of my fiancee, i would like to continue helping her as much as possible battle through her ba depression, stress and anxiety. She has a hell of a life, one of the main things being a very abusive domestic ex parter  >:(

Would love some advice, pointers and guidence on what i can do to help her further with her healing process.

maybe i might be able to help others who knows?

looking for to speak to you all.

Thanks
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Pip

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Re: Hello from England
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2014, 04:45:35 PM »
Welcome Nishty,  I don't have any experience of abuse from an ex partner.  Members will make you feel welcome and help with suggestions as to how best help your fiancee.
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craig84

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Re: Hello from England
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2014, 05:00:51 PM »
Hi nishty,  ive grown up with alot of sisters and unfortunately there has been some history of domestic abuse,  with any form of mental ill health there is a uniqness to how to deal with a person and its difficult to advise based on that fact alone. 

You are clearly thinking of her and how to help which is great to see!  The thing is,  when it comes to traumatic events there are no quick fixes,  it takes time,  support,  understanding and empathy as well as much more. 

If your partner is recieving any treatment for mental health you could try working with her therapist or gp shpuld she be okay with it.  Dont go behind her back and speak to them it will cause trust issues as its extremely personal for her...  If she blocks or changes the subject when u bring things up dont push,  or get frustrated,  simply reassure her that should she feel ready for your help to simply ask,  or hint.... 

You cannot help people until they are ready and accepting of help so the best thing i think you could do is continue to support and understand her as best you can.  Understand  that the things that have effected her for the worst grew over time and with the right care,  treatment,  support and drugs she will,  in her own time be ready to take the next steps of the healing process herself,  she may need you to hold her hand at times,  or give her time alone to process things..... 

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nishty

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Re: Hello from England
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2014, 07:39:30 AM »
Hello both,

thank you for the warm welcome  :happy0158:

no dont worry i dont go behind her back on her treatments, althought she doesnt know im on this forum, but was just looking for anything else i could do to help, she sees her gp on a regular basis, but sometimes it seems he doesnt listen to what she says or seem interested, shes on medication and is trying different forms of theopy.

From when i first met her she has improved soo much and i really respect her for that, i juust wanna help that much more so shes nearly 100%, weither it takes 5 minutes or 5 years i will be there, she is on the way to recovery tho which is great.

Thanks again
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Pip

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Re: Hello from England
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2014, 02:51:31 PM »
Hopefully we can give you the right support.  People don't think about partners needing support and it can be quite isolating as well.
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nishty

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Re: Hello from England
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2014, 04:27:20 PM »
Same, if not thank you any way as im guessing you probably get questions like this all the time. Just want to be as supportive as possible without making it worse.
thanks for the quick response
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stewart

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Re: Hello from England
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2014, 06:14:52 PM »
Hi nishty, welcome to the forums.
it is good to see that you are standing by, and trying to find ways of helping your lady.
its not uncommon for a doc to distance themself from patients,

It is good to see that she has picked up a little with you, and just being there for her and offering support in whatever way you can is great.
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nishty

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Re: Hello from England
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2014, 08:13:02 AM »
Im trying my hardest to offer the support but sometimes it just seems like its not enough  :(
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Pip

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Re: Hello from England
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2014, 09:33:56 PM »
That's understandable but the fact that you care is important.
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nishty

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Re: Hello from England
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2014, 01:27:20 PM »
i guess so, i think one of the biggest problems is trying to get her out of the current area she lives in. As the people around there are negative beyond belief!

on the plus side she is starting to feel better with in herself, as she is now on a new anti depressent and has gained an old friend :)

thanks again for the support
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Johann

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Re: Hello from England
« Reply #10 on: February 25, 2014, 10:05:24 AM »
Hi Nishty. From what I have read on your posts so far, I believe that your fiancee has a very good chance of getting back to a happier life. Your support is very, very important but you really do need to make an serious effort to get her out of a negative environment. Being around negative people all the time can only pull you down.
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