my jealousy keeping me down

[georgeboy]

I can't shake off bad feelings about things my wife did before we were together.
She didnt do anything too bad, a few more blokes than i would like but because i saw a few things that i didnt want to, and the fact that our sex life isnt what it should be means im constantly feeling insecure, jealous and hurting.
We have been together 4 years, i went through a spell of this after a year or so when i got depressed. I thought i had put it behind me but here we go again, im so depressed, struggling to cope and obsessing over this. Its giving me the worst feeling in the world and is keeping me at rock bottom.
Im currrntly taking 1600 mg a day of SAMe and tried sjw but nothing seems to be working, i dont know if these feelings have got so deep that i will never get over them
:-(

[stewart]

Hi george,
bad feelings and depression can be a viscious circle, some meds can have negative impacts on sex drive, have you spoke to your doc about this?

the thing to remember these things happened in the past, your wife was open and honest with you telling you these things. can you sit and talk with your wife about your thoughts and feelings?

[Pip]

I agree with Stewart.  It is hard to talk when feeling depressed but you should be honest with your wife.  My husband went through a tough time emotionally 8 years due to stuff that was going on at the time.  He kept quiet as he didn't want to upset me but it got to the point that he knew he needed to.  It actually brought us closer together but I wish he had told me right from the start.

[georgeboy]

Thanks. I have now spoken to her about it and let it all out. Went ok and we a little closer again now. I explained she hadn't done anything wrong but these were thoughts i was having made worse by my depression.
The reason i dont want to go onto anti deps again are that i lost some sex drive and gained some weight. It looks like i will need too though as im still struggling to cope. I take 1600mg sam-e and 550mg sjw a day. Whilst my depression eased a little once started sam-e i think they may be interacting with the sjw and causing bad anxiety. Im going to have to come off sjw and see if sam-e work on there own. If not i have no other choice but to go back on lepraxo, but unfortunately i dont think im going to be sorted for xmas.