So I'm new...

[fighting_the_tide]

..

But I don't want to go into too much at the moment - all I do know is that depression has been on and off for me and at the moment it feels like i'm slipping back into it. I don't know why or how - it's just happening that I'm having a bad spell - even though I have a job, a girlfriend, I still feel like I'm an anomaly. Numb to most emotions. Barely going through the motions that day by day life is like.

[stewart]

Hi, fighting_the_tide
welcome to the forums, what you describe is the typical things that go with depression, have you had a chat with your doc about this or on any medication.

you can feel comfortable here, as we all understand depression and how it can impact on our lives

[fighting_the_tide]

I have been on and off medication (mirtazapine) - but at the moment am struggling with the numbness. It's almost like I can't feel anything (I could feel physical pain if it was inflicted but emotional? not right now)

[Pip]

Welcome 

[Becky123]

Hi, welcome to the forum!

[fighting_the_tide]

I'm beginning to see why people don't like me. After all - if I don't like me - how will anyone else?

And if being me doesn't work - what next? I can't be someone else, that'd feel wrong to start with....

[Pip]

People can see the nice of you even if you find that hard to believe.  Depression does affect how we perceive ourselves which isn't necessarily how other people see us.