Hoping to be in touch

[alys511]

Hi, I'm Alys, in my 40s.  I have OCD, getting worse, I think, and not enough support anywhere.  Have depression, quite severe at times.  Do have short bursts of being on a "high."  Always followed by a very deep "low."  In the picture, I'm in my 20s with my 3 month old son, who very sadly died in Oct 2011.  Don't know where the time has gone.  OCD, in a way, is taking over.  Sometimes I want to live so much, It's unbelievable, but other times, I find living so hard.  Would really love to form some friendships and exchange thoughts ad feelings really.

[Pip]

Not sure if any of the other members suffer or suffered with OCD.  I am fortunate that whilst I have suffered with OCD it's nevr got that bad that it's overtaken my life.

[Allan_T]

Hi Alys,

I am sorry for your loss, truely I am, as a ffather I couldn't imagine what it was like, but my heart goes out to you, and even though it wont reverse time, I am here should you need a banter, even if it is just how your day has gone, or that you burnt your pizza in the oven! I'm willing to be there for you no matter what you wish to talk about.

I know that OCD's can be quite hard to bare, although like Pip mine have never taken an affect like yours has, I know what it's like when you just can't help but be controlled by them. However, I learnt that I could negate some of my OCD's with others I had, letting the minor ones play on my mind more then the major ones. With doing this, I realise I got more compulsive with the minor things, but in turn, this stopped/reduced the time spent on the major ones. I basically used my own weakness as a strength, and this could possibly be a good way for you aswell (depending on what your OCD is based upon).

Like I said, if you need to talk about anything, feel free to contact me, although I'm not exactly stable myself, I can't stand to let another fellow human being suffer in any way, shape, or form.

[alys511]

Hi Pip
Oh, thanks so much.  I was dreading not hearing from anyone, cos then I'd have to look for other ways to find someone who I can share things with.  I'm grateful and will be in touch again in a couple of days.  My problems have become so "me" that I don't know what they are half the time, unless I sit and think about them.  Hope you're ok, and a big thanks again.
Alys.

[alys511]

Hi Alan.
I've just said a few things to Pip, which goes for you too.  Ah, your'e not exactly stable.  So, it's not just me then!  We live in a crazy world.  It scares me sometimes.  Have you ever burnt a Pizza, and if so, do you still eat it?  Now that could be a good opening for me to talk about some of my OCD.  It's been a tough weekend.  I miss Niall...can't put ti into words.  Thanks for the invitation to talk to you.  It's given me a little bit of hope now.  I'm here for you too.  Maybe a few days 'til I get in touch, laptop's playing up.
Alys.

[Allan_T]

Alys =]

Stable? what does that word mean?

Remember, you're never alone with problems like this, there are thousands upon thousands of people that have OCD, some of which, don't even know they have them. haha, sometimes I've eaten a burnt pizza, but thats more due to being skint with nothing else in my freezer/fridge as opposed to an OCD (not saying theres anything wrong it with, sometimes having a crunchy pizza is a good change =]).

Ahhh, I'm sorry to hear about your weekend, things can make days difficult, and we just feel lost on how to react, or deal with things. and as I said before, I couldn't possibly understand what you're going through, it must be so challenging and heartbreaking for you to go through with all this, Niall will always be with you though, and with him in your memory and your heart he will surely live on. I may not be the best talker, but I can assure you I am a good listener, and I will always give you my best advice should you need it.

I'm always happy to talk Alys, no matter what the topic =] Good look with getting a new laptop, and I look forward to your return.

Allan

[Pip]

I must admit I go the opposite when I'm severely depression and very good at putting on a happy front so it's very rare for people to know that something isn't quite right.  I was married almost 12 years before my husband realized as I went into a meltdown.  He found it hard to deal with as I had always been the emotionally strong one as he believed.  Until that point he hadn't known what was going through my head. It did start to make sense to him though why I had my funny little ways about me which are mild OCD tendencies such as having books, CDs and DVDs in a certain way, I have to follow certain routines, put my left sock (if I am wearing trainers) and left shoe or trainer on or off first.  I joke that order keeps me sane but in reality it is a coping mechanism.   

[alys511]

PIP - When I have a chance I'll talk more about it, but some of the OCD causes  stress and depsair.  Then there are the quirky little things I wouldn't part with.  They're like a "healthy" part of my personality.  I imagine it's a bit like that for you.  Niall had this kind of OCD.  We could laugh and compare notes.  I know what you mean about the brave face.  I've done it myself.  Partly out of fear.  I don't want to be seen as moping, which is what people seem to think you're doing. 
I like having everything in order too, and I can't bare chaos. 
More soon, and thanks.
Alys.

[alys511]

ALLAN - A big thanks for all that.  I have a lot of OCD food issues.  Burnt food, a definate no!  But I can't waste a thing, so the trick is to NEVER let it burn in the first place.  I have a thing about time, which can be handy when something's in the oven!  I've just said a few things to pip about Niall's OCD.  Thing is, mine's got worse since he's gone.  I guess it's a coping strategy. 

What you said about not fully understanding what it must be like to lose him was really nice.  It feels like something I could never imagine.  And there are moments when I feel like I'm in a bubble and the world's not really here cos of the shock. 

I'll be careful when I buy a tablet.  And I'll talk to you soon.  Do you manage your problems quite well?  Hopefully, the laptop will allow me say a bit more soon.  I feel so abnormal unless I'm talking to people like you.  I don't want to feel like this.  Normal/abnormal are words we should get rid of. 
Take care.
Alys.