Not going out possibly agoraphobic.

[Pip]

That's the only problem with agency work that it's not good money and you can't rely on how long you will have a 'contract'.

[lostmyway]

hi pip

Yeah exactly the thing is temporary and unpredictable and lowpaid, and sometimes you really have to travel a fair distance outside of your hometown.  I'm really not a fan of Agencies, sure they work for some but not all.  they are just a stop gap, stopping off place etc

[lostmyway]

Well i finally went out this week, for a few hours up the towncentre for stationery for the OU course that i am sposed to be doing in October.  At least it got me out of the house if anything else. Not much else to report right now.  I need to go out more it should hopefully help a bit with how i feel about everything right now.

[craig84]

biggest trick when your feeling depresses. .... when your up take advantage and do all the things you wouldn't normally !!!! test yourself and push yourself further!!! then tomorrow when you may feel twice as bad try matching what you did today!!!!

Good on you mate glad you pushed yourself today!!!

[lostmyway]

it helps a bit to go out, no doubt, even if its just for  a while.  The weird thing is you know perfectly well you need to do something and go out, yet.. we don't. 
It doesn't make any sense to any non-suffererer but it makes sense to us.  when the brain is depressed a part of it is actually sick (the hippocampus) but you dont see that except in a MRI Scan at a local clinic.  Is an invisible illness. 

[craig84]

it does help a bit at least I know that more than most as it did when I was severely agoraphobic. saying that Im extremely happy you made it out today, its progress. do more next week than you did this week and your still moving in the right direction ! keep it up Lostmyway """

[lostmyway]

i think losing my job triggered it to an extent, situational.  That said I didn't really love my job anyway lol
I guess it doesn't really matter all that much where I go or whatever as long as i actually get out of the house for a cpl of hours or so

[Pip]

If we didn't have our dogs I think it would be easy for me to fall into that trap of not going out.  The crazy thing is when I broke my ankle at the end of January 2012 it drove me crazy being stuck in so much.  I struggled with short distances on crutches due to the arthritis in my hands so had to rely on being pushed everywhere.

[lostmyway]

Well i went out yesterday, but didn't manage it today.  Left shoulder was hurting and the side of my left-knee.  The usual combo of pc and tv to occupy my time (boring).
Unreal how boring life can be sometimes when u have no job to occupy your time.  I first realised this big time in the late 80s and early-mid 90s, it wasn't a great deal of fun.
Also the social aspect is also rather limiting....

[craig84]

sorry ive not replied, how have you been is your shoulder and knee ok now?

yeah I know that feeling too, when im bored lately I write in my journal talking to myself, first sign of madness but im well beyond that lol

Hope your well!

[lostmyway]

OK, went out last night for a few hours. a friend of my brothers having a 50th birthday.  Gets to sunday, and nothing to do again.  Same old routine.
Back on Monday to try and apply for as many jobs as possible.  Unfortunately most of these are temporary, part-time and a lot are not around where i live.

Tired of going around in circles all of the time, not knowing what to do next.  I have reached a roundabout i cant get off.  I'm 42 yet they expect me to apply for a job that pays less than £7 an hour in this day and age?  Are they for real?  Not really sure what to do with my time.  I heard a rumour that i am going to be expected in the future to look for a job for 37 hours a week.  How are people expected to do that exactly?  Not really sure.  For a start there has to be something worthwhile to apply for, not to state the obvious !!

Around and around we go.....

[craig84]

glad you went out and had a change of scenery... ive recently notice how much my living arrangements and environment here affect my mood, its counterproductive being between my mums and brothers at 28...

I need to sort my depression out before I take work though... if im low I just don't see the point in getting up for low wage. I want to takle this depression and learn to cope with it and pull myself out when low before I look for a career again... I don't really have trouble getting jons, ive even been hired by companies who aren't hiring cos I just walked in and spoke to one of the managers of a warehouse, made me team leader pretty soon after but a relationship ended and I fell flat on my face with depression.

iv been going round in circles my whole life and although im only 28 ive had too many lows, too many suicide attempts not to want to concentrate on my mind and how to deal with it.

with the jobcentre thing, I do look but nowhere near as much as they expect me too, I satisfy the criteria and do the same next time. whats the point of me getting a job if I cant sustain it!!!???

Hope you enjoyed the party anyway sometimes things happen like that, spur of the moment.
 

[lostmyway]

They say familiarity breeds contempt, and overfamiliar surrounding sure do that at times, and lowmoods and so on. yeah the ironic thing is you have to be on a  confident high before you take a job, and if its been to the contrary for a number of weeks and so on, that's a hard transition.  Maybe we need to put on a face to say different at the time.

My last  relationship ended 2007 for various reasons.  It had just ran its course.  Same here that it affected how i felt, thought and so on , went through that myself.
We all want to think that the positives always outweigh the negatives but its not always the case is it?  Certain other factors have to be thought about before you can move out, live on your own, and so on.  It's never a simple thing to work out.  Perhaps fear and self-confidence were factors, money too of course.  It's tough changing your whole life lol  Sustaining a job is deffo a concern, I hear that one Craig.

[Pip]

Money is an issue when it comes to working even with the minimum wage along with age.  I remember years ago when I was working for the Foreign and Commonwealth Office but wanted a job closer to where I lived and I didn't want to move into London to be closer to that job.  Every job interview I went to I was told things like I was too experienced, too old (I was 28), that they couldn't offer me as much money which I knew and I pointed out that I wouldn't have to spend so much on travelling and so on. 

Since those days and post getting married I have done a few different jobs.  These days I do voluntary jobs purely because I enjoy doing that and I can do as much and as little as I want.   

[lostmyway]

hi pip

Voluntary for me i don't think is really an option.  I need a cpl of good quality references, even for that and agency.  I really want an IT job but its like pulling teeth.
This modern jobmarket wears me out with all its demands and stipulations, it gets a bit silly.  Not everyone has a Bsc in computing.  Onwards i go...

London is just too expensive.  The average house is around 300k.  Its a hard situation.  I would travel IF it was worth it.