New Member thank you for reading

[Wilcocks123]

first thank you to anyone who reads my post. 

I have been suffering with depression (post natal) for the past 6 years following the incredibly traumatic birth of our first son who had to be airlifted from North Yorkshire to Leicester for ECMO at 12hrs old.  I didn't go to the Drs for 3 years thinking that 'it would not happen to me'.  Eventually I believe I was so different that I went and saw a lovely Dr who prescribed me Citalopram which I have taken for 3 years.  Back in July of this year I realised that I needed to go back to the Dr and he prescribed me Escitalopram, which I am really hoping is starting to work - apart from the night sweats!! gross

I am 40 and really want to start feeling normal - I want to say so much but do not know where to start, but feel joining this forum is a really positive step in getting my life back.

I believe this has been triggered by the birth of our son, but having been through so much as a family I do not know....

Again sincere thanks for you all xxxx

[craig84]

Hi Wilcocks123 welcome to the forums!

I think this forum is such a good way for people with (not just) depression to communicate with eachother. The only other place I have been able to do this is in a waiting room in therapy (if someone is there and will actually talk). Its a great way to feed off of others peoples experiences and help eachother if we can.

Im so sorry to read about your son and what he went through, I had to look it up but it must have been so traumatic for your family.

Some people find writing their own journal in "our private space" (where only members can read) a good way of voicing what their feeling.

Any topic you want to raise depending on what your going through is welcomed too!

I just wanted to give a short message to welcome and thank you for joining.

I hope more mothers on the site can relate to your experiences and help in some way no  matter how little.

Best wishes,

Craig

[Wilcocks123]

I am Dina or Wilcocks123

Thank you so much for listening to my post Craig, yes our son having to undergo ECMO was awful, the main being that I was unable to hold him for 10 days, however, looking at him now you would never ever realise that he had had such a challenging start.

I would love to hear from anyone who is on Escitilopram (I am on 20mg) and to hear their views on how effective they are finding it and or the side effects they are experiencing.

best wishes to you all
DINA XX

[craig84]

Your welcome Dina, so glad to hear his ok now. Iv not heard of the medication you are on but no doubt someone will have some info on it. Im on paroxetine at the moment which ive recently changed from fluoxetine which really wasn't doing anything to help but give me the sweats in bed (yes gross) and too many toilet visits but the paroxetine has helped and so far no side effects.

Hope your coping ok at the moment I look forward to seeing your posts in the future!

Craig xx

[Pip]

Hi Dina, I can only imagine how you felt when your son was born and not being able to hold him for 10 days.  It's something parents shouldn't have to go through.

I can't comment on Escitilopram as I haven't taken it nor do I take any medication for depression.  In the past I have been on two different types of anti depressants that helped for a while then stopped so it was pointless staying on them.

[stewart]

welcome to the forums Wilcocks,
you will find friends and a lot of helpfull pointerd here.

[Wilcocks123]

At times I wish I had been more proactive and joined something like a forum before - it is, in my opinion incredibly comforting.  Sometimes it is hard to discuss with your nearest if they have not experienced what it is like to feel just completely flat and unanimated even though you know you have everything you have ever wished for....................for me I experience a feeling like I have a covering over my head which acts like a cloak and regardless of how I try to be happy it stops me but dulling my mood.......................

For me it is not a pain that you can target, it is not a scratch you can scratch, it is just there................. I am seriously not a Harry Potter fan but when he wears that cloak, that is the only way I can describe how I feel, however, on a really positive note since taking my new tablets (and again sorry for reiterating for me) they appear to be working - albeit the night sweats, weird dreams and obviously a bit of insomnia, but one thing at a time.  I can cope with side effects as long as I am starting to be the person I was and the person that I so desperately want to me.

I am sure that it is not only the birth of our first son that has caused this, as a family we have been through too much for a couple that is still relatively young 40????? really bad illnesses for my husband that I do not want to dwell on as he is in remission for the past 4 years........

With regards to the citalopram not working after 3 years, I thought Pip made a really interesting point in the fact that can your body become tolerate to a certain drug and cancels out the benefits????

Speak soon - thank you all again Dina xxx

[craig84]

It does help voicing your thoughts, feelings, questions and experience on here I know it has helped me. I too wish I had found this sooner it would have saved so much pent up frustrations that I have felt in the past.

sorry for the short post my stepdad has just fell in the door I have to drive him to hospital,,,

[craig84]

sorry about that he may have gallstones or has become intolerant to fats, he has to goto gp on tues to be reffered for a scan. I was half way through the post when he fell in the door and went straight to throw up (sorry).

so what I was GOING to say was that some people can seem to be depressed for no real reason, they may have never experienced anything traumatic, I think everybody who has depression is unique in how it came about. it can be one traumatic thing, or a series of experiences that could lead to it.

ive also heard of some people not being affected by anti depressants too, I believe the same happened with me with fluoxetine.

hope everyone feels at least slightly better than yesterday.