my brother has lived with all of us individually at some point before his diagnosis, we all kicked him out on numerous occasions because he seemed to take all of us for granted and never did anything to help his situation so its sort of like his already burned bridges between all of us.
I think that's why my family are distant but I relate a lot of the things he did in the past, even as a child to his illness.
he has physically attacked everyone in my family, stepdad included and myself but I handled it.
he scared me last week because he says sometimes when im with him he has visions of stabbing me, or walking down the street he wants to jump in front of a bus..... ive taken a step back since.
it is definitely not easy, as you can see its definitely wearing me down... everything that's happened I obviously harbour some feelings of resentment but I just..... I don't know why I try so hard to help them when its clear they cant be helped by me. everyone feels better when im involved with them but it brings me down so much sometimes I feel like I expressed above...
thanks for commenting though its nice to see with how mean and angry I was that im still understood
thanks Philippa
