Hi Beetzart,
I've been to CBT several times about this but they never seem to be able to pin down what is wrong. Mostly because my complaints change so often, which makes it difficult to pin down the issue for them. I've settled on one CBT therapist who is very kind and helpful and he thinks maybe it's Agoraphobia which might account for the sporadic nature of when and where I get these feelings. I definitely have a degree of social phobia, yet it's often worse in large crowds, so I agree with his train of thought, even if it isn't Agoraphobia. His thoughts make a lot of sense though, given that I isolated myself for much of my childhood due to bullying, and then went on to have a lot of toxic friendships. I think I learned from a young age to not trust people outside of my family, where I was comfortable. That's no good, I need to find a permanent solution, not just a transient one, such as what I normally turn to: getting angry (emotionally, never physically). I think it helps in the short term, but I need long term solutions. You can't go on being afraid and angry forever after all.
James
