How are you feeling?

[Pip]

I understand what you mean about routine as I like to stay in a routine. 

Got a good bargain in Tesco yesterday which was an HP printer for £5. The only negative is that we already have two or three printers in a cupboard as a certain husband doesn't have the patience to wait until we can afford to buy as it's about £35 to buy ink cartridges for them. 

[Pip]

Feeling a bit spaced out and shaky but prefer this to being severely depressed an in constant pain.  Mu hip gets very painful if I'm my feet for a couple f hours so I need to get into a routine where I don;t have to or go take routes where I know there will be benches.  I am finding it harder to do anything in the afternoons as my concentration isn't good.

[ParsnipPierre]

Sorry to hear you have had a bit of a bad day.  Feeling spaced out and shaky, do you think that is down to the sertraline?  If you are finding it hard to concentrate in the afternoons, then schedule your tasks for the morning.  Least that way you will manage to get through your jobs, rather than struggling to start them.  I've had an ok day today, as I went to see a friend and was forced to eat, which if I had been at home I would have avoided like the plague.  However, I did find out that a friend as being sectioned yesterday, which I feel really bad for her partner who is a good friend.  That has made me brush my problems under the carpet cos I don't want to burden anyone and feel a bit of a fraud, like I should be doing something about mine???  I'm in on my own tonight, as my parents have gone out so kinda hitting the booze hard, which I know won't help but destructive behaviour is my default setting.
PP

[katieangell]

Hi everyone, new here and so glad I found this site. I've had a very bad day, tearful crying and very confused. Not going into work tomorrow as need to see GP again! I'm on meds for depression. I'm just pissed off as when I'm like this I can even find the energy to clean up. I have 20 month old son that is the only reason why I get out of bed. I'm starting to get worried that he noticing me when I'm upset. I feel very guilty for 

[Pip]

 :welcome: katieangell, try not to find guilty for having bad days.  Children can be quite resilient and your son will grow up loving you because you are his mother, he has a roof over his head, he is fed, clothed and knows he is loved.

[ParsnipPierre]

Depression is hard enough to cope with when you have no responsibilities but to have to look after a child too must be so hard.  You will find comfort and safety on this forum, as we all support each other.  The fact that your son is the reason you get out of bed is a good step.  Focus on him every time you feel really low and live each day for him.  Your doctor should be able to re-evaluate your meds or refer you to get some proper help.  I wish you all the best with it and keep trying to take little steps each day.
PP

[katieangell]

Thank you so much. Its such a comfort to know someone knows how i feel. My partner trys but how can he, he has never had it. Been refered to mental health team so moving in right direction. Life is getting better and im feeling positive. My son is amazing, 20 months going on 20 years. He makes me smile and cry with laughter when no one else can. I owe my life to him really other wise i dout i would be here. I'm loving this forum so much support. Its our own world were we are understood. Mucho love everyone xxx

[Fig]

\I understand all too well. I've suffered  with depression my whole life.

I have no children..human that is!..but I have 5 wonderful parrots that give me unconditional love. I get up for THEM to take care of them and they, in turn, take care of me. I have a morning routine that keeps me distracted.  I'm on meds that help, I guess.  I just  started seeing a wonderful therapist who is helping me.

Keep up the good work!

[Pip]

It certainly does help having something to get up for in the morning whether it's a child, pets or something else.  It was hard in my school years as I didn't like the school I went to even though I had good friends there.  When I started working I liked my job so it was easier even after I had been coerced into surrendering my son. Work = getting away from my parents as I hated what they did to me.

When I got married my husband was the reason for living then we got pets, a kitten and a puppy so they were a pleasure to get up for even on a bad day.  When my husband gets very depressed he sleeps a lot so it's just as well I could get up for our pets and we have had various pets and have always had cats and dogs although we are down to one cat, two dogs and two budgies.  Hubby is good as he cleans the budgies cage out, makes sure they have enough water and seed.  I find the pets very good when I am at my worst as they come to me more often then.

[katieangell]

They deffo sense when people are down and so does my son. Even though he has special needs he always knows when i need a cuddle. I have postnal depression but so bonded with my son. Just a shock to have a baby i guess and he was planned. I do feel like ive been handed a bad hand of cards though. I just glad we all seem to have some thing or some one to get us up and kick us out of bed! X

[Pip]

Feeling exhausted which in turn is making me irritable.  It is partly my own fault as I was engrossed in a book I was reading last night.  Today I was helping with the lunch club which felt like organised chaos/  I have a blister on one of my fingers due to the amount of carrots I had to cut up   

[ParsnipPierre]

I hope you have better luck with the mental health team than I did.  I had an appointment and for the entire hour, I just felt like they thought I was taking the piss.  He even said "I don't think you're depressed".  It put me off going to the docs if I think I am getting worse.  A different doctor referred me to my local mental hospital and they passed me back to my GP because I was in no immediate danger of harming myself or anyone else, despite the emotional torment I was suffering.  I had a really bad day Wednesday, as I ended up in the pub on my dinner hour in a state of despair so I needed alcohol to calm me down.  Luckily that night I had my counselling appointment so I could talk through my recent problems with harming myself and suicidal thoughts.  Since Wednesday the days have been bearable, which is the best I can hope for at the moment.  How is everyone doing at the moment?
PP

[Fig]

I'm sorry that things are so crappy for you, honey.  I think that we hve better help  here in the States.

I have been fortunate to find a wonderful therapist, whom I've now seen three times. i got her by going to my rabbi,who contacted Jewish Family Services. They in turn called me and gave me her name. I called her and we set up an appointment. She's located at their offices. This is a wonderful service. Do you perhaps have a similar service through your church? It might  work better than the MH system.

[Pip]

There are different ways to get therapy here dependent on whether it's free through the NHS, specific therapy which can be free or paid and going privately.  There tends to be a long with for NHS counselling as there are so many people who can't afford to pay for it.  With therapy (general or specific) it can be free or expensive depending where people go to.  Back in 2004 I wanted counselling for adoption issues and found out about Norcap (a charity that doesn't exist and taken over by another organisation) but to get access for all the services it cost £50 which I couldn't afford at the time.  I went to social services who use After Adoption (a charity) where I lived at the time and counselling there is free.  It didn't help me much and the counsellor got more out of me talking than I got myself.  Other people have been helped though by After Adoption.  Alternative Talking Changes which is free and recommended by doctors is a good outlet.  I have used that service twice for different reasons did help as well.

Finding help that is free or affordable actually works means searching for it or being recommended to a service.

[ParsnipPierre]

I was never really offered NHS counselling but I was referred to local charities by my GP.  The waiting list for those is around 6 months.  I was really bad April last year and was a bit naive as I expected to walk straight into counselling.  I guess it didn't help that I work Monday-Friday until 5.30pm, which probably added a few months on.  I did consider paying to go private but then things picked up slightly and I felt I could hold out for the charity counselling.  Luckily, when I was offered the appointments, it was at a time when I was really struggling, so I guess it saved me.  I feel it is slowly starting to benefit me, just talking through my problems, as friends can be sometimes passive. 
I went out for the first time on an evening in nearly two months last night, with my parents since my dad fell ill.  I had to force myself because I like to hibernate and shut the world away.  I didn't really want to go but to a point I did enjoy it slightly.  However, even just after a couple of pints the depressive thoughts were at the forefront of my mind.  I kept thinking about running away and suicide to the point I was almost in a trance.  Luckily I could pass it off as being tired.  I am aware alcohol is a depressant but I always used to love going out with my parents and drinking a lot cos we had such a wonderful time and so much fun with everyone, so I feel a bit deflated the happiness that it used to bring, never came. 
How is everyone this weekend?
PP