anger, diet and exercise

[jubbly]

Hi everyone, I'm new here.

Having spent the last few months on the verge of a depressive episode I have fallen into the abyss.  I am now struggling to get back to where I was without too much of my life being f-ed up.  I am like a yo-yo.  I keep on ending up being so disturbed that I can't work and I have to hide away.  I have been hiding for 2 weeks now and have not washed or dressed for days let alone leave the house or talk to another human being.  My thoughts are always the same, how worthless I am, how I f**k everything up, etc.  I am very angry at myself and I turn it inwards which makes me depressed.  I am having a relatively good day today which allows me to think about how I could combat this and break the cycle.  Obviously I have to deal with my anger but this take a long time, I was wondering if anyone else has this internal anger and have you found a way to deal with it?

Also I have been reading about how diet and exercise can help combat depression.  Has anyone had any luck with these?  Reading it, it all sounds easy peasy but how is one supposed to start doing some exercise or go out to the shops (or cook a proper meal) when you can't even wash or dress yourself?

[Ezel]

 (*(

[Cazkitten]

Hi, all I can say is yep I know the abyss, and sympathies. I've lived on basically fast food for days at a time. Tip: freeze. If you do have a good day and cook, make twice as much as you need and freeze the extra for another day.
Try to wash and get dressed, even in your comfiest tracksuit or whatever...I find it does help me feel better to be (relatively) clean...slobbing around makes me feel even more crap about myself. I know it's hard.
Excercise definitely helps me. I used to attempt to go to the gym but yeah, if you're depressed, seing all the fit toned people is just more depressing...and working the machines (or failing to), ugh. I now run. If I can't motivate myself to go for a run, I just go for a walk, even if it's only 5 mins to the shops and back...it is still exercise, and clears my head a bit. If I can't even be bothered to do that, I put on cheesy music and dance around like a freak or do housework to it.
I know, it's not that easy. I'm not trying to sound like a ray of sunshine, cos I have been where you are.

[bel]

Hi jubbly. I'm new too. I've also been where you are, and feel for you.

Cazkitten's advice is good. Try to care for yourself a little every day, and just a little exercise is all you need to do to get started.

Re the anger, I totally understand, that's me too. I've found that I have to come to terms with what/who I was really angry with. That's very hard, I think often we're taught we shouldn't be angry at all, and certainly not with parents/friends/whoever, so we turn it on ourselves. That is my experience anyway. This is a very long, and still continuing, process for me. I've found writing to be helpful: on paper you can rant and rage and curse anything and anybody, and it gets it out of your head. 

Good luck. bel

[Carry]

Hi jubbly

I feel the same as you at the moment. I feel anger, disgust and hatred of myself at the moment.  I thought I was getting better but all hell has broken out in my head and I am trapped again.

I don't know what the answer is. I think I will stop telling myself what a failure I am and try to 't be nice to me.  Maybe this is the way for you too?

Sorry if this doesn't help, I just want you to know that your not on your own.

Love and Peace

Carry