another new one!

[too little time]

Good morning all

I am writing this from my hospital bed after overdosing on Saturday. ...its It's Tuesday today. Hopefully I'll be out today.

I was in a marriage in which I was abused. Its a long story. But I finally managed to pluck up the courage to leave her.
From that I ended up in another relationship with a girl who made me so happy. She really did.
She then developed her own issues which meant I was spending my life on eggshells. She recently started to get better though I did still try to live in seperate rooms out of her way.
Last weekend she was talking to me about how much she wanted a child with me, and about how she was looking forward to becomming my wife.

THat was in Sunday.
Tuesday she sent me a text at work to say she was leaving me.
Friday I started a slow overdose of cocodamol. Saturday evening a friend convinced me to fight so I ended up here in hospital. There is no permanent damage to my liver...I was lucky.

BUt now when I leave here I go home to an empty house with my two little boys gone. Their toys will still be there as she couldn't take everything. So no boys...and no cuddling on the sofa, no early nights of us talking and cuddling,  stroking her hair and her shoulders

I am not sure how to cope

[Sweetpea]

Hello and welcome, you have made a positive step in joining the forum, you will find support from lots of lovely people here.  We all understand depression and how it makes us feel.

You are going through a very tough time and I so feel for you.

S x x x x

[Pip]

I am thankful that you had a friend to be supportive over the weekend.  You will get support here as people will understand what you're going through.

[too little time]

Thank you guys

I am sorry my message is a bit disjointed. I am writing this on my phone.

THere are times I feel strong enough to cope, and there are other times when I start thinking and I feel the depression take over. I take citalopram and a few weeks ago the gp wanted to up the dosage but I talked her out of it.....you know with the fake smiles we find.

I was already researching into the most effective way to overdose. Thats where I discovered that slowly over a period of days was more dangerous.

I am sad, lonely,  hurt. I feel lied to, cheated and I now become yhe laughing stock after only telling people how happy we were.

[Catbrian]

Your message doesn't seem disjointed, it looks ok.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.  Relationship break-ups are never easy and I completely understand why you might feel anxious about returning to an empty house, the memories must feel so painfully raw.  Try to keep posting on the Forum as it helps to share with like minded people.  We will all try to offer as much support as we can

[too little time]

Well im home. I was let out of hospital earlier on.

I am now on my own laying in 'our' bed and its silent. No boys, no breathing and no soul.

Its horrible.

[Sweetpea]

Do you have family near to help you?  Have the hospital offered you follow up help?

I know it must be difficult to come home to an empty house and I do hope you get to see your boys for quality time.

Take care.

S x x x x

[stewart]

hello and welcome to the forums, a sudden breakdown of a relationship can be a very hurtfull time to go through, if the hospital havent offered any aftercare support, see if there is a MIND office in your area, there are several members here who use their service.