Hey all :)
So it's been a cathartic few days and I've been thinking about the root of my problems. I think I know what it is. I think I hung out with the wrong people as a kid. One guy in particular. This guy pretty much ran my life and I was almost subservient to him. If everyone was going out to a party and he didn't want to go, I would stay with him and bitch about the people who went out. The thing I didn't realise at the time was that he wasn't raising me above the other people, he was utterly destroying my youth and my social life. He wasn't a friend, he was a leech. The thing is everyone else was too smart to fall for his crap, but I did, and it took everything from me. I think back and realise that nearly everything he said and did wasn't the kind of thing a friend would do and say. From "disowning" me as a friend for smoking to calling me out for hanging out with girls who were people he had "called dibs on". He still has the audacity to claim that he's sad because I don't hang out with him any more. Bull&$%+. He isn't sad, he's just sorry I learned some self respect. I don't owe him jack &$%+. He's the one who lies to people on a daily basis and tells them he has a masters degree when he doesn't even have a single GCSE. Why? Because I have a degree, and he can't bear the thought that I'm more educated than him. He's a pathetic, lying cunt and he's done more damage to me than I can express. His ex girlfriend who he liked to rub in my face agrees whole heartedly. He's a moron, he has no clue about anything other than how to control and guilt people and I don't owe him any more than I could spit.
There's a reason why I never wanted to introduce him to any of the exes I had as a kid and young adult. It's because he's such an insidious cunt that he would make fun of me in front of them and belittle me and try to make me look ignorant when he doesn't have a single qualification, why? Because he's a borderline special needs child who couldn't grow a clue with a bag of fertilizer, yet he lies like a fallen angel with dreams of world domination.
I used to feel sorry for him, but thinking back on how he treated me and how he obliterated my childhood, I don't feel an ounce of sorrow. He was a cancerous leech and he sucked every hint of confidence I had out of me. He made every effort to drive my exes away from me, presumably so they would fall from him, and he felt no remorse. All he wanted was for me to be less than him. The fact that I'm not kills him every day. The problem for him is that I wasn't born into money like him and he thought he never had to try with people to succeed, when he didn't succeed, he fed off me like a tumor and I let him for so long like an idiot. Sadly for him, I'm older now, and wiser, and I couldn't give a &$%+ how his life is, he ruined mine, and quite deliberately, because it made him happy. I'm not subservient to him any more, and I don't care one bit how he feels or what happens to him, he could die tomorrow and I wouldn't mourn him. He destroyed my life and my confidence for his own pleasure. I thought for most of my childhood that that was what a friend was. How wrong I was. Sadly for me I have to deal with the damage he caused emotionally.
What friend causes so much damage that a person has difficulty ever trusting another person ever again in their life? None. That person isn't a friend, they are a cancer, and they will feed from you until you die, because it makes their self indulgent fantasy come true. They are filth, no matter how well they lie, and the fact that they lie makes them feel better while for destroying your life. You don't need them, and I don't need him. Spit them the f*** out.
