Hi Guys,
Just joined the forum.
I am currently on Mirtazapine 15mg and really dont think it is helping me.
I was on Citralapram before this and found it helped for a while but then I slipped back into feeling down.
At present, on a daily basis, I have no get up and go at all. I dont want to get out of bed! Often I dont go to work, I am sure my boss will get sick of this before long.
On the weekends I dont rise till 2pm and when I do I dont feel like doing anything or going anywhere!
Mostly I dont like to be around people, family included, and just hide away in my room.
Currently living at home due to financial circumstances. Which perhaps doesnt help.
I also feel my weight is on the up with these new pills.
I dont know what to do or try next?!!?
I joined the gym by rarely have the energy to bother going.
Help!
I see a lot of my current self in common with your situation. I recently got switched to mirtazapine after been on fluoxetine for 18months zig zagging from 20mg up to 60mg daily, until recently 60mg was doing nothing for me. Due to the sedating effect my doc started me on the 15mg at night, which at first was great for the irregular sleeping patterns but I don't feel it is tackling my depression in the slightest. I often isolate myself like you do, I'll do anything to avoid speaking to people like making up excuses why I can't meet friends for a meal or a drink. I work in a pharmacy so I have to sometimes serve people but if I can avoid it I find a job that isolates me from my co-workers and the general public where I can "hibernate" in another room. I feel really lonely and like people don't care but then I isolate myself, so it is a vicious circle. I lead two lives cos my mum and dad know nothing about my depression I am too proud a person to let them know, so I often bottle things up and "fine" and "I'm tired" are the most used words in my vocabulary at home, but I am getting fed up of my double life cos I hate both sides. I'm probably at my worst now this past couple of weeks, as I have started harming myself again and suicidal thoughts seem to be taking over my subconscious mind. May I point out that I have no immediate urge to end my life, as much as I want to, due to the implications for my parents nor am I seeking attention I just want to feel like I am not alone with this. I have what I call my depression book (the book where I write stuff other people would not get) and I have planned the various scenarios down to the exact detail, so am gonna double my 15's up to make 30mg to see if that helps. My doc is currently on holiday so am stuck. Saw a different doc the other day who found my suicidal thoughts/planning combined with my hazardous drinking and eating a cause for alarm and referred me to the crisis team. Who I saw yesterday though due to me having no immediate intent to commit suicide they said that they were handing my care back to my GP. I feel lost now like I am being passed from pillow to post, like I don't matter and like I am going backwards, and thinking will it ever get better? I have been accepted for counselling but the waiting list means I'm probs talking not for another two months yet. I guess I am also confused cos I have no real reason to be depressed, no life events have occurred to trigger it, so I often feel people won't understand it if I can't understand it myself.
I apologise in anyway if I have offended you (downincornwall) by finding similarities with our situations, that was not my intention. I noticed your post was from April, so I am wondering are you still on Mirtazapine and if so has it improved if your dose has been increased, that is if you don't mind me asking?
PP
