Newbie needing help :/

[clairelm1]

Hi guys, i'm new to the site, got recommended by a mental health practitioner whilst i'm waiting to get some counsilling/CBT, I don't really know where to start...lets just say i've had depression for a few years now on and off, and i'm feeling the lowest i've ever felt...strangely things in my life are better than they have ever been. I've finished 7 years at uni, I now have a job, an amazing partener, and financially things are getting better...yet my mood is very low?!? perhaps i have difficulty adjusting to my  new life?!? I don't know! anyway, there has been some very low points recently, some suicidal thoughts (and attempts, that i'm ashamed to admit) I know there is lots more I could say but for now this will do...I think im going crazy :/ HELP!!!!

[Pip]

 sign0016

[clairelm1]

Hi :)

[Buttercup]

Welcome to the forum xxx

[Sweetpea]

Hi and welcome to the forum. My depression hit me when everything was well in my life, depression isn't choosy when it hits us.we are a friendly bunch and we all understand.

S x x x x

[clairelm1]

I don't know what to do though, I am making all the positive steps I can towards improving things, but I am scared that if it doesn't happen overnight everything will fall apart around me! I can't shake these negative thoughts, and I can't stand these suicidal feelings that I get! I don't know whats wrong with me!

[Sweetpea]

Are you on medication?  It takes time to see improvement, be kind to yourself, rest when you can.  We are here to support and help where we can, you are not alone.

S x x x x

[mar42]

Hi claire,sorry things are not so good at moment,maybe you should talk to your GP,have you ever taken medication for your depression? sounds like lots of changes in your life at present,although things are good,there is still lots on your brain & plus you have had a long time studying at uni. I got my first physical manifestation a year after 4 years studying the knowledge of london,it was a very stressful 4 years but i battled through,then finally when everything was fitting into place,i had a kind of physical breakdown or i liked to call it a burn out. After spending a fortune on alternative therapy/medicines which none of actually worked,my GP prescribed anti depressants after trying 2 types which did not agree with me,i was given 50mg of sertraline & it worked within a week.

[Metaxa]

Welcome to the forum, hope it/we can help you in some way

[musicken]

Hi Claire, welcome. :)

I've found that sometimes depression catches you for no reason, and other times there are influences to start the low mood.
It can definitely help to talk, or write it all down in a journal.  we're all in a similar position. 
But I can relate to wanting an instant remedy for the negative thoughts, even though I know it isn't going to happen.
Try to talk to your GP, also see if there are any therapy groups nearby that might help.

[Zaf]

Hi and welcome  *()

Z xx

[stewart]

Hi clairelm, welcome to the forums.
expecting things to happen overnight is something that many people want, and it can be a downer when they dont happen as quick as we would like,
its good that you have a great partner in life too, that can make a great deal of diferance to a lot of people

[Catbrian]

Welcome to the Forum.  I hope things start to improve for you.

[captainkeefy]

Hi clairelm1,

Welcome aboard. Sorry to hear you are having a hard time of it at the moment, please don't feel ashamed of having suicidal thoughts. My Therapist said that this is our sub conscious mind telling us that we can't go on feeling low, our conscious mind miss interprets this as suicidal thoughts, it's a very common thing with depression, I felt like that about 2-3 weeks ago and slowly day by day I've been feeling better. If you haven't done already, I think it might be a good idea to see if you could get some Anti Depressants from your GP. They do help but they don't work overnight they need a little while to get into the system.

Talking helps too, have you spoken to your partner? It might be an idea to sit down and have a chat about how you have been feeling and remember, keep posting it helps so much!
 

[clairelm1]

H guys, thank you for your comments. I am currently on medication, it has helped I was feeling so much better but now I seem to be really low again. I just feel like this is going to be the way I am for the rest of my life, and how do you accept that?!? It's just a constant battle, and I just want to be "me" again, I don't know who this person is that I see in the mirror! Is this what everyone feels like?