Hello

[Metaxa]

Hi everyone,
 I've just joined up to the forum so thought i'd better say hello.

 I'm 40 years old and live with my wife and 2 youngest children, and also have an elder child from a previous marrage. I've suffered with depression on and off for a few years now, the 1st time i got it really was around 10 years ago, ended up having around 3 months off work with it and only being given sleeping tablets to help me sleep at night. 2nd time was in dec 09, i'd lost my job the year before and had been out of work just over a year and a rock band i knew were going on tour. They asked me to go on the tour with them and help them out. I got half way through the tour and had a night off so went home for the night but crashed big time and had to quit the tour. It just so happened that a few days later i managed to get a job so just carried on.

 Then last Nov my mum passed away and it hit me really hard, a lot harder than i ever imagined it would. I had a couple of weeks off work then and returned to work. Then about 5 or 6 weeks ago now i hit a big low, i couldn't go into work that morning as was so low. I went to see the Dr and was signed off work and put on 20mg of citralopram a day, this went on for a few weeks and then about 10 days ago there was an argument with my wife, she went out and i ended up harming myself (for the 1st time in my life). It wasn't to serious but it really scared me. The next morning i started having panic attacks (another 1st for me) so i went back to the Dr. The citralopram was increased to 30mg a day and i was also given diazapam. I've felt a bit better since but am trying not to take the diazapam unless i really need to (was told to take up to 3 a day if i felt i needed to). I had 1 really bad day on Sat where i again harmed myself and did end up taking 3 diazapam throughout the day.

It doesn't help that i drive a van for a living either and the diazapam do seem to make me tired, and if i lay down after taking one i'm asleep very quickly.

 Thats about it so far, i've got another Dr's appointment this afternoon so will see how that goes.

Thanks for reading this
 Jamie

[Pip]

 sign0016

[Catbrian]

Hey Jamie... you really have had your fair share of difficulties these last 10 years.  All our struggles with depression have commonalities, I hope you can identify with other people on the forum and find the support you deserve; depression can be a lonely illness.  The Forum is a great place for sharing

The self-harming would have also scared me.  Recently, I've been experiencing the start of mini panic attacks/hyperventilating.  I've been suffering depression 20+ years, but the anxiety to this extent, is a first for me. 

Citalopram is a good antidepressant.  It seems to carry fewer side effect, but it does take weeks to start having any significant effect .  The Diazepam is good on occasions but is highly addictive and not very practical for driving.  You could try splitting the pill in half, even quarter.  Hopefully, once the antidepressant starts having an effect, you won’t be experiencing heightened anxiety.

Hope the Doc's went okay and welcome to the Forum! 0158

[Sweetpea]

Hello and  sign0016 to the forum. The forum is a good place to be, we all suffer in one  way or another with depression, so we understand. I have suffered panic attacks for a while and they can be very frightening.

I hope your DR's appointment went OK.

S x x x x

[Metaxa]

Thanks for the welcome :-)
Dr's didn't go quite as planned as i missed my appointment and had to wait around to be seen, Had my citralopram upped to 40mg a day and been signed off work another month!!!
Am going to start a post in the Journals section on here to talk about it as this is the new members section lol

[Sweetpea]

Poor you its horrible having to wait in the drs. Hopefully the increase of Citalopram will help. 

It often helps to start a journal.  We are here if you need any advice  0158.

S x x x x

[Metaxa]

Thanks Shaz, have just made my 1st journal entry so will see how that goes. Gives me a chance to just get things off my chest and perhaps/hopefully get some good advice or thoughts from people here :-)

[Sweetpea]

I hope it helps. There are a lot of lovely supportive people here :).

S x x x x

Sent from my BlackBerry 9300 using Tapatalk

[musicken]

Hi Jamie,
just wanted to add my welcome :)

[stewart]

Hi  Jamie, just to add my 'welcome to the forums' hope you find usefull topics here