Things seemed to be ok but keep lapsing :-(

[niz]

Hello everyone,I have not been here for a while as things seemed to be looking up for me.I have been to counciling sessions and they are now coming to a close.I have spoken about things I have never talked about before,still taking meds but all in all was going ok.This week gone I have struggled,I lost it in work got stressed and it has put me back in the murky pit.Latley I have been drinking more at the weekends,feel totaly exhausted from life in general,feel like I'm not getting anywhere in my job,not getting anywhere in life,my wife tries to help me but its hard for her as she doesnt really understand fully,money is tight I am the only earner and with a wife and two step children its tough.I never buy myself anything I just make sure everyone else has coz thats the type of person I am.I work mon-sat and just cant take time off as I would only get statuary sick pay of £80 per week and that would not cover much as we rent private.My councilor wants me to carry on with group sessions when my usual counciling comes to an end but this is every wed from 2-4pm and I just cant take that much time out of work it would end up being half a day for 6 weeks.My family all live localy but none of them have ever been to visit me whilst I have been ill for nearly a year now,its mothers day today and I'm going to my parents house for the first time since christmas they only live 200 yrds away.I'm alone with my thoughts,no one can help,I dont know what to do anymore,I just want it to stop.

[mar42]

Wished i could help Niz,i have also written a post this morning & am feeling anxious about life,i feel like im on a very thin edge,Im doing my deep breathing today,because i have to try & control something. Maybe going to your parents may help today,although you probably don't fancy it. I have to face it today,my mums putting a spread on & my grandparents,uncle,brother & his kids are coming down & i just want to sink in a hole lol. Anyway mate your not alone Niz,i hope you feel better later & try not to drink to much today,because it will make you feel more tensed & stressed tomorrow,kind regards marlon

[Pip]

You're dealing with a stressful life which in turn is making your depression  %^% . 

[Sweetpea]

 %^% niz, feel for you. Having pressures of work and money are very hard.  Others who have not suffered find it hard to understand.

S x x x x

[niz]

Thanks for all the replies and supportive comments,today is turning out to be a nightmare,I'm up and down emotionaly,dreading work tommorow,very exhausted yet cannot sleep,went to my parents but when we got there couldnt really think of much to talk about.My wife is upset coz the kids arent making the effort for mothers day,were argueing over what to do for my 40th birthday,I feel like sleeping for days,wish I could get away from the world and its problems.

[Catbrian]

Sorry things feel so bad for you niz.  It sounds like you are under a huge amount of pressure.  The anxiety about visiting parents and, of course, work tomorrow is bound to drag you down.  The situation with the Group Therapy would be ideal, but not if you were losing money.  If there's no other way of making the hours up at work, could the Therapist suggest something else?  It sounds like the Therapy is going well and has maybe been adding to your feeling of well-being.

Try not to think you are alone with thoughts and no one can help.  This is a rough patch.  You've come through in the past and will do again.  We are all here for online support, hopefully you can sort something out with therapy.  Would it be possible to ask the GP for something to help you sleep for a while?  The lack of sleep is probably one of the worst things for depression.

I hope today starts to feel better for you.

[Sweetpea]

I know how you are feeling I have felt as you do and wanted to hide away, I feel so for you.  Have you considered going to see your Dr to see if you can get some help.

You have us here for support  %^%.

S x x x x

[niz]

Thanks for all your comments again,my moods today have changed by the hour and left me shattered,im due at my gp in a couple of weeks but may feel great by then,i get one day off a week and it always gets ruined.

[musicken]

Don't really have anything of any use to say, other than I know how you feel.
Hope it gets better for you soon.

[niz]

Well up and off to work,feel rough,tired and my head feels burnt out,lets see what happens.

[Sweetpea]

I really hope today is kind to you.

S x x x x

[niz]

Well today went ok,the feelings went as quick as they came,thanks everyone :-)

[Sweetpea]

That's so good to hear  0158 0158.

S x x x x

[Catbrian]

That's good to hear, Niz.  I hope the rest of the week flies by without any more stress.