Finally going to take the plunge..

[FreyaD]

I've been struggling with depression quite badly for the last year and a half, I'm still living at home but my parents don't know about it.. however, it's getting warmer now and I can't wear jumpers forever!

I need to take the plunge and tell them, and I know I can't do it face to face, so it's going to have to be an email whilst I'm staying at a friends. I know I should probably tell them straight, but I'm not very good at talking and we've never talked about anything remotely sensitive..

I'm accepted that I'm depressed and I'm not ashamed, it's part of who I am and there's not a lot I can do about that! But I think it will break them- any tips on what to say or what not to say? Any help will be appreciated!

Thanks

[Pip]

When I told my parents we weren't exactly on the best of terms.  I had a huge argument in 1999 with my sister and ended up telling her a few home truths which resulted in me not talking to her for 12 years and I didn't have any contact with my parents for almost three years.  I couldn't tell them over the phone so I wrote a letter and just told them straight that I was severely depressed.  I couldn't bring myself to tell them that I was a self harmer or that I had been suicidal though.  My sister and I started talking when she rang me on the day my mum died as my dad was too distraught to tell me.  Several months later I opened my heart up to my sister how bad my depression is in a letter and asked her not to tell our dad how bad it is as he was 82 at the time.  I didn't want him to worry.  My sister hasn't said anything directly but I know she xares.

[Catbrian]

Oddly enough, I have a similar dilemma.  It's never easy broaching such a sensitive subject.    I take it you are wearing jumpers to hide self harm?  Would it be kinder to first reveal the depression first and then the true extent at a later date?

I hope it goes okay for you

[Beetzart]

Freya, I hope you find your parents sympathetic and understanding as depression is still a taboo subject for many.  I'm afraid I have no advice on what to say but I wouldn't suggest what I did to make my parents listen.  I kept ringing my mum from work telling her I was suicidal and going to kill myself several times over a couple of years.  Plus I let rip into my Dad last August when he said he didn't recognise depression as an illness.  I yelled at him to look it up online and don't be ignorant.  He said why should he.  Anyway I stormed out highly distressed.  The next day my mum rung me and said my dad was disturbed/shocked by my outburst and looked it up online.  He thought I was going to lump him one.  They are both ok now.

Sorry I can't be of more help in a positive light.

[mar42]

Maybe you could bring up the subject of depression,along the lines of "depression seems much more common,lots of people suffer in silence,but it's much more publicized" or something like that,to see how they react to it,you might be surprised,they may know someone else who suffers & have some knowledge about it,maybe someone in your family tree had it? who knows? good luck with it

[musicken]

hope it goes well. fingers crossed for you

[FreyaD]

Thanks for all your words of wisdom and support!

Still trying to compose the email, the hardest thing I have ever had to write!

[Catbrian]

FreyaD.... I hope everything is going okay for you

[musicken]

Yeah, me too. hope you managed to find the courage to press 'send'. 

[FreyaD]

Tomorrow is the day, it has been written and it's all ready to go.. Will try and update you tomorrow evening!

[Michael Frankum]

I wish you luck with revealing your problems to your parents. Be brave. Best wishes.

[Sweetpea]

Good for you Freya hope it goes well  .

S x x x x

[FreyaD]

It's been done! They replied and were very understanding and just wish I had told them sooner, but I still haven't made it home and not sure I can face them just yet :/ Still not sure I've made the right decision but hey ho, it's been done now..

Hope you're all well!

xx

[Catbrian]

Excellent news freya.  Sometimes, these things are better out.  Their prompt reply and understanding is a good sign

[Sweetpea]

That's great news Freya :). You have made the first very brave move (((( hugs )))).

S x x x x

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