Anxiety/Depression returns

[calm_one]

Hi Jon,

Its so good that you're able to call upon inner resuarces to calm you down. I did a body scan yesterday during my break and also this morning when I woke up at 4:30! I also did a quick 10 min breathing meditation before bed.

the body scan is hard as my mind either wonders or i start to fall asleep. With being tired all the time its really hard to stay alert!

I hope your 8 weeks group course goes well! You might want to look into mindful weekends too! You get to practice being mindful and get a little holiday too!

[Jon]

Hi there.
I did one drop-in group session a fortnight ago and it was OK, just not a very relaxing environment. My proper course starts tomorrow, 2 hours every Saturday. 
I've been following the Mark Williams ("Finding Peace...") book for about five weeks now. I'm also working my way through "The Mindful Way Through Depression" by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal & Jon Kabat-Zinn. Also Jon Kabat-Zinn's Wherever You Go, There You Are. All excellent and highly recommended.
The Mark Williams book is designed to ease you in gently. The meditations do get longer and deeper. Most days I do two sessions of 30 minutes each. Today I've done nearly three hours (including some light yoga practices) as I really felt that I wanted to.
I'm still finding it enormously beneficial.
I like to vary the audio tapes to keep things fresh. There's quite a few good ones available online at the usual pirate sites. Jon Kabat-Zinn is my favourite instructor. He also happens to be the leading light in Mindfulness worldwide.
If my course goes well, I'm thinking about spending some time on a retreat later this year, when I can afford it.
It's really working for me. Before I started looking into Mindfulness I was in the midst of awful depression. I still get my dark moments but even those are now manageable.
I wish you all good things, Jon

[Catbrian]

Calm_one I hope things are picking up for you

Jon... your words are very encouraging, I will look into this Mindfulness.  My local NHS CMHT do courses.  The books you recommend are interesting and I'll look out for a couple.  I'm reading Shoot the Damn Dog.  The Author swears by meditation, it's what's kept her depression at bay.  She gets up at 6am especially for meditation.

[Jon]

Hi CatB.
Yesterday I attended the first class of my Mindfulness group. I'm doing 2 hrs every Saturday for eight weeks. It's basically the same course that the Jon Kabat-Zinn and Mark Williams/Danny Penman books cover. The group dynamic really worked for me. I found the experience even more enriching than when I'm meditating solo.
When my depression came on again in early December, prompted by a relationship break-up, then a few other traumatic events, I was terrified at the thought that this was how I was going to feel for the foreseeable future. That's to say: extremely grim. Someone mentioned Mindfulness to me. I'd never heard of it to be honest. But it really seems to be working. I still have my dark moments but I've found a way, through meditation of keeping them at bay.
It's funny you should mention that writer getting up at 6am to meditate. I've warmed to the practice so much that I've half-thought of doing the same. When it's nice and quiet. I was having a lovely, peaceful meditation in my bedroom this afternoon and then there was uproar from next door when Manchester United scored their first goal against Liverpool. Rather took me out of the moment.
I wish you luck with the NHS course and hope you land a good teacher.
All good things, Jon

[Catbrian]

Thank you, Jon.  I understand Mindfulness is about living in the moment and that is one of my major problems binding me to a large part of my depression.  It's definitely something I will look into.

Good luck with your course and the meditation.  I imagine there's a lot of benefits of starting the day early, especially for the Meditation.  If this is what you are being pulled towards, then go with it