Thank you, Leo, for asking because I came online to share some better news. Today has been a steady climb upwards. I did feel physically better, although still very much exhausted. As the day went on, my mood began to improve. When I get a bit tearful, it's a sure sign things are on the up. And, this being Hogmanay, I'm always a bit tearful anyway.
I cannot face doing anything tonight but the Glaswegian blood feels I'm letting the side down. But, I can't face being all smiley and happy. I've shed a few tears throughout the day. This past year contains some of the best and worst moments in what I call 'my recovery'. I suppose before this year, recovery didn't exist beyond hopeless depression.
The downer I've just been on was one of the worst and because the flat was in such disarray, I had no sanctuary to retreat too, just a cold empty shell with windows blackened out by newspapers. Even up until today, the flat had lots of clutter in corners and everywhere needed dusted and hovered. All the clutter was shoved in every last corner of cupboard space. My flat depicts my life; clean and tidy on the outside but a whole dirty mess underneath
I've now cracked open an ice cold can of cider, it's the first in a very long time but is very refreshing. I've changed radio channel to Scottish, as it's not Hogmanay until I hear the Bag Pipes.
The isolation at this time of year is very potent. I plan to stay on the Forum to ease that.
Lastly, thank you all so very much again for the support and attentiveness, I really would have found that bout a whole lot more difficult without this contact. Here's hoping I continue on the up
