I am back!

[bookletters]

Hello everyone,
Stupidly logged out and I had forgotten my password doh! When I tried to have it resent to the email address I used for this, surprise surprise, I had forgotten this one too!
I hope everyone's doing well.
I am on day 32 of meds crossover, overall feel a lot better although completely stopped citalopram just under two weeks ago and I am still having (what I presume are) side effects: painful muscles and joints, feeling very irritable, pins and needles in my hands and feet (mostly at night), sore neck etc....
Also, I am a bit freaked out because I was progressing nicely with venlafaxin but since stopping citalopram I have been feeling a bit rubbish again. I am able to work a lot during the day, eat fine but then my sleep is not as good and today, for the first time in ages, I put myself to bed in the afternoon and was unable to do anything. This has really freaked me out as I thought I was getting better, not back to "let's stay in bed not face the world!".
Doc said we were going to increase venlafaxin very likely at my next review (on Monday) so I hope that helps.
Do you sometimes find yourself getting better then you have an "in bed all day" day????
It's freaking me out a bit but I know depression will be making me worry about this.
Hope everyone's doing well, will be catching up on the posts now xx

[Zaf]

I do things like that too bookletters 

Yes, I still have the occasional day when I cant do anything

Z xxx

[bookletters]

Thanks Zaf, it's reassuring. I was doing so much and progressing so well that this day out of nowhere has freaked me out!
Still, only 32 days of taking venlafaxin and doc said from the start we would look at increasing the dose so.
Tried to follow CBT techniques as I was feeling really low earlier and even thinking "everyone is getter better apart from me, my case is really bad, maybe I am going to be stuck like this forever etc etc" (you know the type of lovely thoughts lol!) so I said to hubby "Let's go to the supermarket"! So we did and it wasn't easy or as enjoyable as it would have been normally but I am just glad it got me out of bed and doing things!

[Zaf]

Its sometimes very disconcerting to have a crash for no apparent reason but it does happen from time to time while we're recovering xxx

[bookletters]

Thanks Zaf, yes it's freaking me out a bit but hopefully when GP increases dose on Monday as planned things will get better :)

[Zaf]

Yes they shoud do  _)_ xxx

[bookletters]

Do you sometimes worry too maybe it'll get worse and not better etc etc, it's part of the depression right?

[Zaf]

I think most people's depression fluctuates, especially during the period we start to recover.  Sometimes I worry that it will take a long time to reover from the little blips even though I always have in the past

[bookletters]

Me too, that's what my CBT therapist says! She's like, and in the past you have.... "always recovered, yes actually, that's true!" makes you feel better to think like that doesn't it :)
Citalopram wasn't doing much for me but the withdrawal has been a real pain, no problem for a week then day 8 I get all sort of aches, anxiety, worry etc feeling like a jet lagged junkie lol!
Went to see GP two weeks ago and she reassured me. Then day 8 into new stage of citalopram withdrawal and the symptoms are a pain again!!!
I have been able to do lots of work this week (maybe too much actually, cbt therapist says I need more pleasurable activity instead of constant work) but today's not been great.
Think as I was on a higher dose of venlafaxin GP says she wants to make sure I go up to 150. 75 doesn't seem enough for me which in itself is depressing me as I am thinking "needing that dose of meds aged 31 what are you going to be like in 10 years' time?!" Still, hopefully by then there will be better treatments, still clinging onto my hope of GLYX-13 in december!!!!

[bookletters]

I am sorry if I sounded snappy in PM by the way Zaf, citalopram withdrawal's made me feel really irritable!

[Zaf]

You didnt, dont worry xxx

[bookletters]

Thank you xxx

[Catbrian]

Certainly sounds like you will get another increase on Monday, coming off AD's are never easy, even if we are going through a cross over. 

Good luck for monday.  Hope tomorrow feels better

[bookletters]

Thank you Cat, yes today I am feeling a bit better today. Yesterday was really tough but I was able to get out of bed in the evening and had nice meal with hubby, watched a film etc. By the time I went to bed mood was much better.
I think the last stage of withdrawing from citalopram has been tougher than I expected, probably because unlike before, the decrease of citalopram didn't come with an increase of venlafaxin!!!
Hope everyone's doing well xx

[vwone]

Hi glad you have managed to log back on  =+- and that you are feeling a little better today. I was not told of any withdraw symptons when I started taking citaopram does everyone suffer from them?