pissed off

[smokey]

I rolled off a cliff in 2003 to kill myself, didn't work coz i landed on a tree, trashed me ribs and allsorts of other bones, few weeks in intensive care punctured lung etc etc, had been in a psychiatric unit and been discharged coz apparently i woz ok to leave, ended up back there, mental health care in this country is w***, how the f*** are you meant to explain to a gp or psychiatrist how u are when u feel so flat and emotionless and lifeless that u have no words to describe it????

[smokey]

I quit my job last year and decide to take time out and go to therapy, i quit because i couldn't concentrate on my job and wasn't going to put lives at risk by trying to carry on. I've worked hard all my working life and have lost a few jobs due to depression, this year i have made good progress with no help from the nhs pants counselling as it seems you have to at least attempt to kill yourself to be considered for it, this country takes the piss with mental health, you ask for help and get f*** all but the esa interview which the government have employed a f***ing I.T company to do!!! lol it is really laughable but i really feel for the people who are on their arse financially when they have mental health problems, because in my experience when you are on your arse mentally the thing you are least capable of is fighting your corner! I consider myself quite lucky because i had saved for years when i was working and tbh didnt realise why i was so tight with money, i aint loaded or anything but think i did it coz i knew the &$%+ would hit the fan sooner or later. anyway im just ramblin on coz i feel pissed off with it all at the moment, i read a lot on here and i sometimes feel like i dont have words but i empathize with everything i read from all of your posts and relate to the feelings you all have, depression does affect everybody differently and it f***ing sucks, some people seem to respond well to medication, tablets have never seemed to help me, therapy has helped me a lot through this year, seems my thought patterns were all bred into me by a nutcase of a mother and an unsupportive father etc etc, so my family are a bunch of twats and the mindset that was bred into me has made me untrusting paranoid and at times psychotically and severly depressed, I've worked really hard this year at changing this but to be honest I am f***ing exhausted mentally with it. I'm sounding off and if I have offended anybody with my use of the english language then im sorry but i just had to vent a bit, and lets face it I haven't said much on here before so f*** it xxx

[bookletters]

Not offended smokey! I know what you mean about the NHS, jobs and co. Not easy, that's for sure.
Sending you a hug xxx

[smokey]

ahh cheers me dears thats really nice, big hugs for you too, am a big softie really xxx

[dave208]

Hi I sympathise with you the NHS are crap when it comes to mental health. My 12 year old son who has issues started going to a psychologist we explained the difficulties my wife and I were having with him to cut a long story short my son admitted he held a pair of scissors to his stomach one time and thought about stabbing himself. At the end of the session the psychologist basically said there was little wrong him and just to monitor his time on the internet what a cop out the boy tried to stab himself complete waste of time and that was the first and last session.