hello im new here

[.com]

Hello all,

 Thought I would join this forum to talk to like minded people and see if this would help me.

 I feel like I am depressed but I can say for sure if it is depression or just feeling down. I cant say I have ever felt this low in my whole life. I feel like every thing is closing in around me, like I don’t know who I am any more and don’t know what to do with my self to make things better.

 I have just tried to get an appointment to see my GP, and the earliest they can see me is the 9th November.

 I feel like I have no one to talk to right now. And that no one will understand what im going through. Not to mention the comments of things like its nothing you will be ok. Etrc etc.

 My feeling have now affected my relation ship with my girlfriend, and to cope with things I have decided the best thing to do would be to go on a break so I moved out of our flat last week Thursday and I am currently staying with my mum until things are sorted and I know what is going on with my head. The relationship has not been going good for some time, we moved in together in February this year, things started of great and then I slowly started to feel lonely even through I was with her. We pretty much stopped have sex which got her down but I just had no interest init.

 Things at work are no better, I have some how got my self into a slump and feel the only thing that will help work wise is to leave and find some thing else, which has the classic problem of leave and do what.

 I have gone backwards in life, I was a shy child grown up and came out of my shell a bit in my late teens and now its like im back to being a child, I find it really had to talk to people, express emotion or say whats on my mind. Its almost like I feel im being judged for every thing I do so I just say nothing.

 My sleeping has gone to pot, I some time will lay in bed for hours, thinking of random things. When I do sleep im up at all times in the night this can be any where from 10-30 mins.

 Im a smoker since the age of 16 never really smoked more than 10 a day unless on a night out, but the number of fags I smoke now has gone up. I have even chain smoked a few times which is some thing I never do/did.

 I can now literally go through a whole day with out talking to any one, only specking if some one asks me some thing. Im like a walking zombie.

 The only things that seem to relax me now is going to the gym or having a drink both of which is some thing that should not be done every day.

 I don’t know what wrong with me, its like I have 28 years worth of built up emotion to release but with no way of venting it. As said already there is no one to talk to no one that I even trust to talk to. I have shared bit and bobs with friends since the split on Thursday and spend Thursday Friday and Saturday drinking with different people. Not to the point where im p***ed on the floor but its not me to drink 3 days on the trot.

 I have even thought about just packing up and leaving every thing, just moving not saying a thing to know one and going. But I cant do that. But what I may do its just pack up and go some where for 2 or 3 days on my own and see what happens.

 I don’t know what the dr will say weather this is depression or some thing else but im hoping you guys can help with my feeling if any of you have been through them before.

 Thank you for taking the time to read this….

[Pip]

 +_+ and $£$ , you will be made to feel welcome here

[.com]

thank you Pip

[mat]

Well you have taken the first step and the most Important step and that is to see your GP, it may not be until next Friday but  you know you have a problem and you know you need help,  what ever I am going to say may not make you feel better or not , in my case I know I started to drink and sure it may feel good at the time but at the end of the day does it fix your problems ?  Not really . 

It's still going to be there, we all understand that you are going through hell and we all can relate to you in one way or another,  relationship, alcohol, thoughts, insomnia,loneliness etc .

I know it's hard to open up about your feelings. , maybe you should try and write them down on some paper and store them away or type it up and save it somewhere until you get to your appointment.


As pip said you are welcome here anytime, no matter what problem you have no matter if you think it's something silly.


You are among friends :-). 

[.com]

thank you its funny you should say wright things down that is what i haven been doing since yesterday. and it has helped me get things off my chest.

[Sweetpea]

Hello and welcome to the forum :). S x x x x

Sent from my BlackBerry 9300 using Tapatalk

[mat]

No problem , in my case where I dont feel confident enough in telling other people about my problems , I either post on here or just write it down ,   your anger and frustration builds up inside you and you need to release it some way.

I know this is going to sound stupid but do you trust your mum/partner enough to tell them the way you are really feeling and the problems you face,  I know it's hard because of the way you are thinking the now.

[EllaStar]

Hi, nice to meet you :)

I can really relate to how you are feeling. It's really hard trying to manage work and relationships when you are feeling so low and like you are on a downward spiral.

I've only been on here a day or two and its already helping, knowing that people on here care and are willing to share their experiences and advice :)

I hope this forum helps you.

Ella xxx

[.com]

Hey,

@ mat
I cant say that i do trust them to tell them about my problems, i feel that i would get judged or they will start to look at me funny, even start tip toeing around me and i don't want that. there is a more of a chance of me telling my partner but i fear that i would still hold back and not get right into it. i just cant seem to talk to her that way.

what i might just do is send here every thing that i have been righting down so she cant read my though and hear what she has to say.

@Ella
thank you, i hope this does help me to.

[Zaf]

Hi and welcome  &*&

Z xxx

[.com]

Hello again all, just thought I would update you on my self.

I have just come back from my GP appointment and he has referred me for some counselling, I have to call them and make an appointment with them.

He how ever did not sign me off work which is one of the things I wanted along side counselling, he said that I would be able to self certificate for a week and that I should call him in a weeks time for a phone consolation where he would then be able to sign me off.

he did how ever say its only worth being off if the time is going to be used constructively, i.e. not spent sitting around dwelling on things. from the thing i told him he said if you can use the time to try and get your self on track, see people talk to my partner etc then it would be a good idea. 

So im not going to come into work next week, I going to book my appointment and try and move things forward from here.

I was due to go to a wedding on the 24th with my partner but with every thing going on with us I have decided not to go and pull out of it.

I am however going to see her on saturday this week and spend the night there.

I sent her a copy of every thing that I had been writing and she was shock at it, but we have only spoken through text so i don't know what sort of things she is feeling.

Im scared of what work is going to say, as half my problem is due to them, but I have this fear that they are going to be like what is he on about, we ain't done nothing how can he be depressed etc. which makes me feel im i just the one with issues and that there really is nothing wrong its just in my head.