I've had depression for many years now..I'm getting used to " The Dark Place "..that's what I call it when I am really low...I am 42 years old and am married and have 4 kids...Life is horroble at the moment...I just feel so low , it feels like my heart is aching , like the feeling of heartbreak, thats what it is I think , I feel like I am grieving and there is no end to this feeling...I feel so sad...I keep looking at where I am in my life and it feels wrong....I fantasize a lot , I look at myself and I hear myself saying " you're disgusting "....I feel ugly and People look at me a lot and I know they think the same...I feel like I'm dying....watching my Husband getting spaced out every night doesn't help , especially when the voice in his head tells him not to talk to me and to tell me to shut up...we've been together for 17 years , we never row , we never go out , I envy characters in tv programmes because they have a better life than me , it's silly because they are not real people...I'm usually to be found in a dream world , it's so much better than reality ,,,,need stronger pills I think , God Bless you all...
