Meds crossover update!

[bookletters]

Me too, I think what I am mostly happy about is the difference between the amount of suffering I was going through with citalopram, I feel like I did it all by myself and it was just so slow and so painful, getting worse and worse before getting just a little bit better..... how horrible :s
What are you on?

[Buttercup]

At the moment I'm not taking anything, partly through choice. I was on Fluoxetine for a short time at the beginning of the year but they made me hypomanic (I'm bipolar) so I changed to Lamotrigine, but came out in a rash. At the moment I'm mildly depressed so I agreed with psychiatrist that I'd leave meds for a bit and restart later if I need to.

In the mean time I she her every few months and my support worker weekly, I'm doing a WRAP plan with her which helps.

Xxx

[bookletters]

I see, wow well done on not taking anything!
I wish I could but without a good antidepressant I am like a plant without fertiliser!

[Buttercup]

I don't know how I cope to be honest.  My Psychiatrist has put on my notes that I should avoid anti depressants, they turn me high too quickly.  Apart from the lamotrigine the other drugs on offer have nasty side effects so I aim to use them at as low a dose as possible.  For me I know I will take meds at some point but right now I'm trying to lose weight and this is easier when not on the meds.

I am almost constantly in a mildly depressive state with some dips that are a bit lower, I have my children to thank for a lot of how I cope, if it wasn't for them I would spend most of the time in bed but I get up in the morning to go to school or work and cook dinner in the evening, its normally a battle.  When I'm really bad though, these things go as well.

How are you feeling now?

[bookletters]

Wow, it sounds like you are doing admirably well!
I have just posted a new thread "is this normal" and perhaps as you have bipolar you will be able to answer my post please?

[Buttercup]

Thank you, I don't feel I do a good job, it's a bit of a battle.

I will have a look

[bookletters]

I am sure you do a great job, remember not to be harsh on yourself when you have to battle bipolar and being a mummy too!!

[bookletters]

Thank you!
A bit low this morning, didn't sleep as long as two previous mornings (although until 10am so still good) and now worried about "how long before I am back to my happy self" / "what if I relapse every month even before I even get completely better" / "maybe my case is really bad" / "maybe the doctors aren't telling me how bad the situation is" / "maybe I have it worse than most people" etc etc etc!!!
Silly negative thoughts! Let's hope they go away as the day unfolds :)

[Catbrian]

Please believe me, all of us experience what you're going through.  I wrote on another one of your posts, everyone gets anxious that their new-found good mood might come to an abrupt end.  You probably will have dips along the way, but I'm sure you'll bounce back, just like everyone else does.

[Sweetpea]

I understand how you are feeling. Its so easy to let our minds run wild with all the negative thoughts. S x x x x

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[bookletters]

Thank you Cat and Shaz!!!
Not feeling that as much tonight, I have just mopped the kitchen floor and feeling fairly pleased after 4 months of torture that the meds are helping!
What I have learnt out of it though is, if you are not on a medication that works for you (i.e. if you are on nothing essentially!).... you get worse and worse for 3 months, then you get the odd okay day here and there although you are still in enormous pain and I am sure eventually you would get out of it but it would probably take a year or two.... no kidding :s

[Sweetpea]

I am so glad the meds are making you feel better. Its lovely when you find a medication that works. I know I was starting to feel like I would never be 'me' again. S x x x x 

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[bookletters]

I was starting to feel I was hanging on by my nails if that makes sense and just didn't know what was going to happen next but I was terrified :s
I still have lows where I worry but overall it's nothing short of a miracle being able to feel better like that!

[Sweetpea]

I felt the same when I was put on Duloxetine. After so long of feeling damned awful. S x x x x

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[bookletters]

I know, so painful gah!
I wish that stupid doc had listened to me when I told her it was not helping me! xxxx