Hi JMS, thank you for your reply, i do write down my emotions when times get really tough, although the fear of someone finding the book has prevented me from writing down everything. I do find that writing at night is much easier and calmer then attempting to write during the day.
Thanks again for your reply, hope your doing ok :)
Jess x
Hello Jess,
I've read your 1st post on this particular thread and hope you are feeling better. I'm new to this site and from reading this, isn't it great to have people on here you can actually talk to!
I know your original post was back in July (I think!). I'm a qualified psychotherapist, and having read your post I really do sympathies with your situation, and it is very normal to feel pretty frustrated... especially when I read that you were grounded for being 15 mins late
Again, from reading your posts, it's great that you write your thoughts down... just a quick question regarding you and your parents, if that's ok??
I obviously don't know your personal situation, but do you find it difficult to chat with your parents openly... especially when it's hostile?
Have you ever thought of writing them a letter, expressing exactly how you feel, why you feel and how it makes you behave (good or bad in your opinion) If it's something you would consider, then why not try it.
Try to do it in a calm way (I know sometimes it's not easy!!), tell them WHY you are writing to them... which is important, and that its not attention seeking or anything like that (it's amazing how many people think your attention seeking when you try to express your opinion)
It may work it may not, but in my experience, I think it's the right thing to do... you should always try to express your thoughts, but in a calm way... which isn't always easy!
You sound a bright person, with a lot going for you. I can understand why you might think about suicide, but believe me there are a 1000 reasons not to do this... you might not think that at this moment in time, but there is!
The way we act, usually relates to what we were thinking, for example: If we think of
bad / negative things, we usually start to feel negative, this then leads to negative actions which then leads to negative actions or behaviour... try to recognise when you are thinking like this, and try to get your mind to say STOP... and try to think about more realistic thoughts, here's a small example:
If someones annoying you (like a friend) rather than getting angry (which is what they might expect you to do) think to yourself, stop... I don't need to do this, whats the point in getting annoyed or angry?? What is it really going to achieve?? Whats the point in wasting my energy on someone who is clearly trying to aggravate me??
Think of a traffic sign saying STOP!!! Take a deep break... DON'T LET THEM AFFECT YOUR DAY, WHY SHOULD THEY?? and just try to take it in your stride!
Doing this usually calms you down, you then start to think clearly, in return you will start to act differently and it's amazing how much better you start to feel. Ask then... why are you trying to aggravate me?? Trust me it completely throws them lol.
This is such a small example, and I'm sure you have other far more serious things then an argument, but take that example and try to use it in your every day like. It's not easy to so this to begin with... but the more you practise, the better you will become!!
If you want to chat more just let me know, you can PM us (me & em my partner) or just email us anytime if you would like to discuss more in depth things.
In the meantime, if you ever have anymore serious suicidal thoughts please get in touch as you don't have to suffer in silence, I hope you are ok and I wish you well, take care
Jon & Em & Mindful help.
