totaly mentaly and phsicaly exhausted

[niz]

Hi everone,its now sat morning and since thursday i have felt like crap.I didnt have a trigger for it i just woke up that way,tired,moody,non stop headaches,shoulder and neck pain and now just sick of it all.I am constantly thinking of all sorts of things,if i try and think of anything good it gets taken over by bad thoughts.I started thinking yesterday that i cant take much more of feeling this way its affecting me,my wife and kids.Every time i have a good day its followed by extreme bad days and they are overtaking the good.I have been to my doctors and each time its just stick with the meds and therapy and i dont think its working.I so wish this had not happened to me.
I have been coping with work up to now and for the first time ever i was supposed to be in today and i have just knocked it on the head and cancelled my work for today.If i stop working then i have lost as i am the only wage coming in to the house,we rent off a private landlord,when i stop working the bills stop getting paid.
All my life i have put others before myself,done lots of good things,lots of bad,never really had any luck in life but always cared and helped otheres before myself.Now this depression is consuming me,no one to help me and even if anyone could help i think there is nothing that can be done to stop it.
I really hope this feeling will leave me today and not get worse,I hope i can type something good on here tommorow not bad,I have spoke to my gp like advised on here,been to cbt 3 times and just not getting anywhere.I had a good nights sleep last night but have woken with a dull thudding in my head and my eyes feel tired,the back of my neck aches.Sorry if i bore anyone reading this but this is the only place i have to put any feelings or thoughts out there.

[Sweetpea]

You will certainly not bore anyone here. I have felt as you do now. Although thankfully I was not the main bread winner. This just adds pressure for you. I know you have been back to your Dr but the meds you are on and the CBT are obviously not helping. Is there another Dr at the surgery you could see. There are many different meds and not all work for everyone. I had to try several until I found one that suited me. As for therapy this is much the same its finding the one which helps you. I personally found CBT to be ok but my counselling through MIND helped me much more. Just a thought but have you got a MIND centre near you?  They are very good and have counselling, courses and lots of other advice and help. I do hope today is kind to you. Take care. S x x x x 

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[niz]

Thankyou for your words shaz xxx,I think the feelings i get are made worse because i dont seem to find many people on here experiencing the headaches and general head fuzziness that im getting which then leads to other feelings of worry about if there is something not right in my head,seem to be getting better as the day goes on but from what i have learned so far is to expect the unexpected with depression,with work and personal life at the minute i feel that i am hanging on a cliff edge by my fingertips,the only thing that keeps me from falling is the fact i have so many people that rely on me in work and at home.There is a MIND center near me but i would never have the bottle to just call them and go there.I have the docs again this coming week on thursday,I think i am going to have to really tell him that i keep slumping into worse states at times.Once again thanks for your advice xxx

[Sweetpea]

I also suffered with bad headaches so I do understand. My mind went into overdrive worrying what was causing it. It turned out to be a problem with my mandibula (jaw bone) as I was clenching my teeth together because of anxiety especially at night, hence the bad headache in the morning. I was fitted for a tooth guard which I wore at night. This thankfully cured it. You could google or whatever search engine you use and find MIND they all have websites and you could email them (I couldn't of walked in either) you could then ask for info by email. Take care. S x x x x

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[Zaf]

I get dreadful neck and shoulder pain as well as headaches when depressed, its anxiety and tension that causes it aparently

Z xxx

[turquoise]

I too have neck and shoulder pain but never thought it being concected with my depression till I came on here and heard others talking about it.  I hope things improve for you hugs x

[niz]

Well thanks all,my mind is a little more at ease knowing others have had the same issues,will still bring it up with my gp this week,today has been ok but as sunday night draws in i can feel myself getting anxious about work in the morning.Since thursday i really feel like i have been through the mill,I hope most people have had a better weekend,thanks again everyone xxx

[niz]

hi everyone,well today is monday and i made it into work,still not right from thursday.I am really struggling at the moment really feel the lowest i have felt ever and dont see any way up at the moment.I think it wont be much longer before i have to give up work which will lead to more problems and then that will add to my depression,dark thoughts are slowly creeping into my mind and i am to afraid to tell anyone as this will already cause people to keep themselves distanced from me,its amazing how many so called friends you lose when people find out you have a mental issue.wish someone would wave a wand and make everything ok.

[Sweetpea]

%^% for you. I have said so many time 'oh for a magic wand'. S x x x

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