Hi all fellow wearers of the cloak of loneliness,it's nice to be here.For years it never bothered me at all,but now its driving me up the bloody walls,and quite honestly,if i didnt have this computer i would go insane! Im always polite,never rude and yet,no matter where i turn to,be it Twitter,Facebook,YouTube,i never get a reply to my messages,and yet,others do,its almost as though my postings are invisible or something and i just feel like giving up.Sorry,i did get one response on a forum,yes,i got told to F*** OFF! Why does this keep on happening,i just dont understand it?
And in real life,the situation is even worse.If i didnt call,text,email the people i consider to be my friends,i would never hear from them.It would seem nobody has any interest in me whatsoever.On the few occasions i do get a response to a text message,i get told off for being nosey,an ex of mine actually said "why do you want to know all my ins and outs".I thought that was what it was all about,taking an interest in your friends,but it has now reached the point im actually scared to ask anyone anything,do people not like being questioned nowadays as to how they are getting on in life?
And then theres my night class,when it finishes up,everybody talks to one another.....except one person,ME!! Its almost as though i have two heads or something,im the black sheep of the class,so i just get up and leave rather than stare into space hoping somebody might actually have the courtesy to talk to me.Now i wear nice clothes,always smell nice but it would seem this isnt good enough,maybe its my body language as i am very shy and so forth.Im ok on a one to one situation,but do struggle dreadfully in a group of people.Now,if i saw somebody on the other hand who didnt look at ease,edgy,nervous etc,i know i would at least have the manners to talk to them and try to help put them at ease,but thats just me.
And then there is my neighbours,never had a christmas card ever off anybody,i say hello to a couple of them when i pass them and they totally blank me.Its a bit hard to take really,i even used to bring all their bins in after collection,trying to be neighbourly,and where does that get me? I take out my rubbish a couple of hours later,only to find one of them has dumped their rubbish in my bin,despite their own one being empty.I really feel as though im being victimized.Its not as though im a killer,rapist or peadophile,i would do anything to help anybody.
Yes,i have resorted to this sadly,desperation perhaps? Who knows,did a search on Google and this site came out on top and so i live in hope that things might actually turn for the better and that i see some light at the end of the tunnel,usually when i do see this,it is a train rolling towards me!
Anyway,i think i have made my point as best as i possibly can,thanks very much for taking the time and trouble to read,and i look forward to hearing others feedback who can relate to what im saying.
Thank-You.
