newbie

[Catbrian]

Hi Turquoise

I think it's a bit rough, leaving you to deal with your mum's dementia with only the GP's support.  Surely there must be additional help....?

I think it is lovely how you had such a good visit with your mum.  I heard somewhere recently, it's beneficial to take the person with dementia back to the areas they spent their younger days as it help them connect with themselves.  Your positive visiting time demonstrates how beneficial the respite is for your Mum as well as yourself.  Maybe you might feel comfortable taking the full quota of respite available.  In any 24hr period, it sounds like you are doing the workload of a full residential staff team

I hope your first appointment with the CPN goes well.  The only way I was able to access all the services available was by researching online.  When I came across the website for my Mental Health Team (and CPN), it came as a shock to read of so many services that nobody told me about.  It might be worth Googling your services.

Hope you're having a good day

[turquoise]

Hi Catb
I am having a good day today and mums dementia is in quiet early stages so it is not too bad at the moment although gp says it will get worse.  I have a very good social worker and carers for personal care twice a day which I only got after I phoned the doctor crying my eyes out as the duty social worker wouldnt listen. The rest is down to me I have a brother who lives less than five minues walking away and he give me no help and support other to say that im depressing him this was when I was at the end of my tether and he said he had enough problems of his own grrr he makes angry.  He even refused to come down when mum had a raging infection and was hitting ,me normally she is not violent. His wife said if they come down she would think that they were only down to give her a row hmmmm as an excue that is poor, he alwasy goes on that he works I only do two hours less a week over less days than him and care for mum. My neighbour had to come in and calm her down this is when things all came to a head and my gp got involved and changed my meds.  So it was so nice to have a good day with mum and her respite has improved her mood mobility and her confusion is less and she has now got a new friend so they spend the day chatting. 
I am meant to be doing a clear out but have been reading and watching tv stuff I dont get the chance to do or concentrate on which is naughty as I have a hot date with a dyson and a bissell.  Dating two household appliances at the one time hmmm Ill be the talk of the steamie.  lol

T

[Catbrian]

I'll send my wee Jack Russell round... I call him Dyson for his remarkable ability to hoover carpets wherever we go

That's a bummer about your brother and the wife...as you say, excuses excuses.  I'm pleased you're getting a lot more support, there seems to be so many hidden services. 

I think you deserve a bit of ''me'' time... forget the date with your appliances and put up your feet and watch some tv

[turquoise]

Hi Catb well another day nearer home time for my mum.  The only problem I have to go out after she gets home for a ten hour shift  &*& but hey ho think of the cash although ten hours is sore on the feet lol.   We are lucky up her in bonnie Scotland with free personal care but not for much longer if that woman gets her way cant remember her name why oh why do goverments like to kick the poor and vulnerable it makes me so heaved off at them, I would like to see them living on benefits and jumping through hoops with various benefit departmets for a pittence sorry rant over. 

Love jack russells but my large tom cat is such a dog hater I cant have a dog, he lies on the drive waiting for dogs to put a paw over his boundery and they he charges at them growling it scares the bejezus out of them.  He had attacked a boxer dog twice and a lab three times for setting foot in his garden.   Just waiting for him to have an asbo slapped on him lol. 

I must be feeling better it is nice to be more relaxed and at peace just for a wee while.

[Catbrian]

Lol... My wee Missy stalks the dogs here as well, but I'm always so worried cause she's a slightly build cat, one shake in their jaws and she'd be a goner. Her brother, Oscar, is a massive black and white Tom, identical to the cartoon felix cat food adverts.  He's a big softie and much bigger than my Jack Russell, and he is on the big side for a jack.  Someday soon, I'll work out how to download pics of my babies.

I don't know if I already mentioned.... I'm Glaswegian.  Been living in London since 1995/6.  I was in the middle of organising a move back to Glasgow, until I was struck down by a back issue.  Everything's on hold.... maybe long term hold!

I take it you're in receipt of Direct Payments for your mum and yourself, as carer?  You can also get it for mental health, if it helps you live a comfortable independent life.  It doesn't matter if you're working or on the highest DWP benefits, you would qualify.

OMG Turquoise, my jaw hit the floor when you wrote you're working.... So, on top of your depression, your mum, unhelpful brother.... you are also working!!??

My admiration

[turquoise]

Yep Cat I do work two nights a week as a barmaid in a social club have been there for about six years.  It is an okay job some nights are busy some are so quiet that a cemetry would be more lively.  It is my lifeline to a social life and makes me forget my woes for a wee while. 

My tom cat is a very large black and white cat and he thinks he is a dog and he wags his tail like a dog he used to visit to get fed and one night it was raining very hard and he moved in permenantly.  His old owner didnt care much about him but was put out that the cat came to stay with me.   The other cat is a wee female and she also moved homes to stay with me and shes been here over a year my friends call me a catnapper.  Both cats get on so well together and they take it in turns to keep me company when Im feeling low. 

I hate mornings so much as I always wake up with a feeling of dread this disease is so blooming horrible it makes you question everything you do and say.

[turquoise]

Forgot to say Cat that Im sorry your move to Glasgow is on hold but sometimes things happen for a reason and you will get back to Glasgow when the time is right.  I reasd your journal about your move but perhaps it is not the right time I am going up to Glasgow later this month so I will say hello to it for you.  I lived in Glasgow in the early 80's during my other life when I was a nurse when this dam illness made its first appearance after a horrible flu like illness felled me like a stone and then eventually after being poked produed and turned upside down I was diagnessed with depression and it went on from there, it has cost me my marriage my career and my belief in myself.  This morning is slightly better than yesterday afternoon when I cried all afternoon.  I have sort of got over my initial feeling of doom that is my first wakening thought.  Anyway have a good day
T x

[Catbrian]

Morning Turquoise.... hope your day is better than yesterday.  I relate to that morning feeling of complete dread over everything and nothing; that tight knot in the pit of the stomach has, on many occasions, made me throw up.  On days like today, when I plan a complete ''me-day'', I always feel okay.  In fact I was so looking forward to today, I woke bright and early and was up by 6.30.

Oh... you are a cat-napper, aren't you...lol... I've heard from many long-time cat lovers that, very often, it's the cat who chooses us.  I had absolutely no experience of cats when Elsie (mummy cat) made her decision to move in 14yrs ago.  She was a beautiful long haired Tortoiseshell and was very vocal with a huge mean attitude.  Despite the vet's assurances she wasn't pregnant, two wee kittens were born.  When I had mummy-Elsie neutered, she came home the next day, but had lost her maternal instincts and promptly moved into my neighbours, leaving me to search for a new home for the ''kitty-babies''.... I'm still searching .  It just so happens that all this coincided with my very first mental breakdown and don't mind admitting, my responsibilities and love for the kittens, is what kept me alive.

It's very sad to think of how much we lose through this illness.  It sounds like you've had a fair share of heartache.

Hope today goes well for you.

[turquoise]

I am having a wee bit of a better day.  The wee cats came into your life at the right time and it is my cats that keep me going at times.  When having my blackest moments I think of them and it pushes me on sitting a computer with her ladyship sitting beside me watching what im doing she is probably saying what rubbish are you spouting now lol.  She is a lovely vocal lady with so much attitude and she struts around wiggling her bum.  His lordship is outside partrolling the estate or the back garden looking for woofs to attack

I agree it is sad to loose stuff through illness sometimes I think back and think if only but there is no use crying over spilt milk what is done is done and all thes things that get chucked at me by well meaning friends. 

Off to work later friend is coming in for a chat and a blether so that will while away the hours and tomorrow is homecoming for mum and a long shift for me not sure what type of function is on but it doesnt make a difference lots of noisy people getting drunk and shouting a lot and lots of clearing up at end of night before falling into bed exhausted same old same old lol

[Catbrian]

Pleased today is better.

It's okay to feel upset, but I try hard not to regret... Things happen in life for a reason; the experiences contribute to our overall growth.

It's good you have some blethering time with mates.  Hope work went well, you must feel exhausted. Tomorrow, you need all the strength you can get.

Cat $%$

[Michael Frankum]

Yes, good luck tomorrow.  *() Best wishes.

[turquoise]

thanks guys just home from the most boring shift ever four folk in all evening. Chanell surfed and got more irritated but managed to read,   Off to bed now and get prepared for tomorrow with mum home and a long shift with one staff down that is the night we will have a load in who can drink for Scotland lol survived many a night like that though rather be busy that so quiet that I take root to the floor.

Cat I try not to have regrets but I do feel I havent made the best life choices and that is why I tend to only spend time with people I trust and they are few and far between. 

Nigters x

[Catbrian]

Hope you sleep well

[turquoise]

eventually managed to get to sleep today is the day getting mum home so fingers crossed everthing goes well with me going out to work, was a bit dissapointed with friend last night as she didnt come in for a chat but will see her tonight so will catch up then.  Hope you have a good day Cat x

[Sweetpea]

Hope your mum gets home safely today. S x x x x

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